May I have a side order of fries with that humiliation, please?

During summer camp, my youngest daughter made best-good-friends with the daughter of one of the squadron commanders on our base.

They absolutely love each other, and they look so cute together.  They're both tiny, little understated things with cute little pixie voices.

This weekend, my daughter's friend came over for the evening.

As the children were all in the living room, watching Monster House, #3 and her friend chose to share a sleeping bag and some popcorn.  My husband and I were folding laundry in our bedroom, which is right off the living room of our house.

Suddenly, to our mortification, we heard the tiny little munchkin voice of my daughter say, "Did you feel that warm air?  It was my fart."

My husband then vowed never to be seen at staff meetings or in public again for the rest of his natural life. 

My humiliation over this incident was only surpassed by my utter stammering embarrassment when I found out that my then 3 year old son, who was accompanying my eldest daughter on a visit to a friend, peed on the base commander's lawn while they were cavorting in the sprinklers.  Did I mention that the wing commander my husband works for saw the whole thing?  And that there was no doubt whose child it was, as he was wearing a Metallica t-shirt and had his hair done in mohawk?

By now I'm surprised that when we meet new people, they don't say, "Oh, yes!  Air Force Family!  We heard that you like to joke about potty humor and sex all the time!  Yeah, you're not really our kind...  Let's not do a play date."

Why, God, WHY can we not at least have the illusion of being a polite normal family when we meet new people?   Now, before our reputation proceeds us in all quarters?   And, if my children are going to do their darndest to humiliate me in public, can they at least not do so within the chain of command?

Comments

[Marine Wife]

The joys of military life!

[semperfiwife]

LOLOL....
I hate to tell you, AFW, that it only gets worse when they become teenagers.
Can you say beerblast at the regimental commander's house when the parents were out of town?
sigh....

[Shanna]

My son, who was 6 at the time, was playing with the hose in the front yard. Apparently he would aim it at passing cars on their way to the youth center. One such car happened to have his windows down. Well, he got pretty wet, along with the birds on his shoulders. Talk about crawling under a rock! Fortunately, besides being the base commander, he was also a dad and very understanding.

[airforcewife]

I guess being a base commander is a physically dangerous job!

[wendy]

It does get tricky when people from work get involved. Once, my dd had a big crush on my husband's commander's son. embarrassing...

[wendy]

I should say, it wasn't embarrassing that she liked him, it was embarrassing when she would chase him around the squadron at family parties (grin).

[Andi]

I think you should open your home and charge visitors a hefty fee just to hang out at your house for the day and get a few laughs. A great way to make a little extra money, and you may even get your own reality show out of it. When you do, don't forget us little people...

[Zoomiewife]

LOL...Thanks I needed to have a great laugh.

[Becky]

ahh yes, my 3 year old girl once pulled her pants down in the yard and peed in front of god and everyone...(oh yeah we lived in housing near the base commander also)

I feel your pain sister!!!

[Kel]

Oh the joys of parenthood. My DD#3 is just recently potty trained. She wanted to tell the neighbor moms that she was a "big girl' so she said "look I have on big girl panties" and in one fail swoop down came the pants! in the middle of parents picking their children up from school (we live by the school) I was mortified! but everyone just laughed hysterically.. but i was just in shock and embarrassed!

[phyllis]

They all do this. At Disney Land my daughter was wearing the princes panties that matched the princes she was talking to. She lifted up her dress for everyone. I wanted to die. The princess just laughed and said they all do that.

[ermcwife]

It gets worse when they become teens! On our first outing with a new group of friends my angelic 14 year old killed our social life. We were a group of 3 families with children of various ages. The plan was that we would all attend a "mandatory" farewell BBQ for one of the guy's commanders then duck out early and the adults would go out to dinner while my daughter watched the kids at my friends house. When it was time to leave my daughter was no where to be found. Army Moms being the hard chargers that they are soon escillated the search from "have you seen a blond girl in a blue tshirt" to a full on search and rescue operation with men driving the neighborhood beating the bushes. Because after all, "my daughter is very responsible and would tell us if she were going somewhere", I told my new friends whose children she was soon going to be responsible for. Well we found her...at the park... with the commander's son. If that wasn't bad enough, add to it my husband dragging her back by the scruff of her neck screaming every expletive known to man. She hasn't had a lot of babysitting requests since then.

[angela]

At least when your kids showed their panties they didn't get in trouble for sexual harrasment. When my daughter was in pre-k she showed a little boy her underwear. My husband gets a phone call at work wanting to have a meeting on why our daughter would do something like that. My husband replied "she is 4 don't bother me at work unless she is still doing it in high school". They made such a big deal out of it and like my husband pointed out she was only 4 years old and kids just do stuff like that.

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