Where Did The Month Go?

Okay...so even after a half a decade at being a guard wife, I still think I can conquer the world during Hubs' hiatus from home each and every time.

Shall we take a journey through what I thought this month would entail?

For starters, I should be about 10 pounds lighter. 

After all, I planned to work out every day while Hubs was gone, I joined Weight Watchers on-line and I planned to eat more healthfully too.  I also planned to drink my 8 glasses of water a day and not let one fully leaded Coke pass my lips.

I'm surprised the Weight Watchers folks haven't sent out a posse to look for me since I don't think I've logged onto my personal site since the charge appeared on my card.  I hope they think I'm just too busy being healthy and fabulous to check in with them. 

Next, my house should be spotless.

After all, I've spent a multitude of hours cleaning and re-cleaning not to mention organizing.  I redid my closets and reaccessorized (is that a word?) the girls' bathroom.  I had planned to reorganize my cupboards in the kitchen and clean out the refrigerator plus, possibly, repaint the bathroom...but, alas, it was not to be.

Third, I should be well read and well rested.

After all, I had a stack of magazines I've been too busy to read over the past year waiting for my perusal.  I also made a promise that I wouldn't stay up past eleven so I could make sure to get up early to exercise (see above).  All these plans hit the fan when I realized that I'm still a full-time extern for a federal judge; I'm taking a class two afternoons a week; the girls still need to eat, have clean clothes and good lunches; my flowers need watered at least once a day to survive the drought and weeds need pulled every five seconds.  Oh, and how could I forget that I can't sleep worth a diddly darn when Hubs is gone so I've watched re-runs of Forensic Files and The First 48 until I'm too bleary-eyed to move.

So, let's recap shall we?

I weigh the same as I did when he left...if not a couple pounds more as I chose an occasional beer or fully leaded Coke, mocha frappucino or even ice cream sundaes over water, celery and bean sprouts.  I chose working in the yard and doing menial household chores over hitting the gym.  The house is no worse for wear, but isn't any better either.

I cared for about a second until I remembered:

This is nothing new.  He's never cared before and he certainly won't now.

Besides, his text messages he's been sending have NOTHING to do with how the house looks and everything to do with things that make me NOT let the girls read the messages first! I will make sure the bedroom looks nice, though!

Do you do this too?  Certainly I can't be the only one fretting over inconsequential things or creating super human to-do lists!

What's the silliest thing you've ever fretted over prior to your military member's arrival home?  Anything you should have done, but didn't because you were sweating the small stuff?

That reminds me...note to self:  shave your legs. 

Comments

[LAW]

oh yeah! My DH is leaving the sand in the next little while.. and I haven't done all the stuff I thought I'd get done... but I don't really think he'll care!

shave legs, change sheets... lock dog up in crate... what to do with the cat?

LAW

[armywifetoddlermom]

HA you have no idea..how funny this is.

DH is coming home for a 2 1/2 day visit, he hasn't been here since March...

not a darn thing done...

well like i want it

[FlyCat]

OMG, this is too funny. I always plan to have the house spotless. This last 2 week stint for my Navy Reserve husband, I intended to dig a bed along the back fence....the entire 45 foot back fence. I made it 3 feet. He is going away for 5 weeks later this year. I plant to put in a cat door to the garage so I can move the litterboxes out there. Check back in a few months to see if I really do it. :-)

[Guard Wife]

Alright, FlyCat, you're on! I'll check on your cat door if you check on whether I've hauled my upholstered behind onto the workout wagon again. LOL

[USMC SSGT Wife]

Guardwife:It's only been 5 weeks since I've seen the hubby but I have the same honey do list for myself but the reality is I hit the gym continuosly for ONLY a week and cleaning the house is an ongoing battle with 2 kids, 2 cats and a dog not to add all the yard work....Most of it gets done but my theory on losing weight/getting in shape. My soon to be DH is away in training until Oct, which I will see him periodically until then...so I think I'm holding out to look fabulous for when he gets back from Iraq next summer,even after 7 years you want to make him turn his head again like it's the first time...ya know wait until after he leaves because I know I'll go through lots of tissues and boxes of bon bons for a bit...

[Guard Wife]

USMC Wife--I know what you mean! I worked out like crazy during the final months of Hubs deployment and DID look fabulous. :) I have 2 kids & a dog myself and cleaning is an uphill climb, isn't it?!
Your plan sounds like a good one. I will pass you some bon bons when the time comes & then we can go work 'em off on the treadmill. :)

[Susan]

My hubby's been gone almost 4 months now. 3 months of it in training and I lost nothing, but I did hit the gym regularly. Since he's been in the sand I've lost 4lbs, a benefit of feeling nauseous so often. I'll take that as a positive effect. Now my kidlets drag their feet to the gym daycare (they'd rather play outside) so I'm going less often. I WILL go tomorrow. Last month, when hubby saw me in the airport when he returned for his week leave he said he didn't recognize me from behind. Hair color/cut and I guess a slight reshaping in the rear. Wait until he sees me next! Of course I want to make him stumble like he did when we first met, but that was 12 yrs and 3 kids ago. My yard does look better than it has for a long time... hired a gardener when my husband left. I think we were the last ones in the neighborhood to do so anyhow :)

[USMC SSGT Wife]

Okay now on the topic of doing things for our husbands when they come home...this will be our first deployment. There are so many things he always wanted to do that he would like to do before he deploys.So this next week he wants to squeeze so much in, in just a week. I would love to do them all BUT it's a lot of $$$ too, tattoos, skydiving, whitewater rafting, things like that. He's very positive about coming home in one piece but I guess there's that part of him that just wants us to live it up and make great memories...is this normal ...is it wrong or selfish???

[Guard Wife]

USMC Wife--This could be (& probably will be!) a whole post in itself. But, no, I don't think this is abnormal nor is it selfish to do some things prior to deployment that you've been putting off/dreaming about. However, when Hubby does come home in one piece there will be a temptation to spend like crazy as well...relief? feeling entitled? Not sure, but I know it happens.

I think as long as something is in the budget or it won't adversely affect you over the coming months, have some fun & make some memories together. If, however, it makes you worry or feel apprehensive about your financial standing, etc., steer Hubby toward memory making, but cheap-to-free activities (a romantic picnic, a long walk through your favorite neighborhood/downtown area, dessert @ your favorite restaurant).

[Jan Wesner]

Well, my husband's been gone for four months (11 more to go) and I haven't done a single thing on my list - I'm convinced I'll be running around like a chicken with its head cut off the last week before he comes home!
http://blogs.tampabay.com/standingby/

[dizzylizzie]

7 weeks to go and i havent pulled out all my hair. thats an accomplishment all by itself!

[Kel]

I always make the super human to-do list and i might if i am lucky get one thing on the list done.. I am known for starting to do on thing which leads to another and i forget about the first thing.. then that night i am exhausted and hte house is still a mess.. but i worked so hard?@@.. My pet peeves for when DH comes home is , i be clean..lol, the bedroom be clean (of course) and the kitchen.. that is the second place he heads for..lol

[GBear]

Shaving.....not worth it! Two days later - you've got to do it again! Stick with the things that have longer staying power - flowers in the garden, changes in the girls' room, new cars!

[liberal army wife]

USMC SSGWife - about the $$$ stuff. This is something you need to talk about. I'd suggest : don't say We can't afford anything... just let's pick one or two expensive things, and then do what Guard Wife said - inexpensive, romantic, fun things that won't cost the earth. To have a HUGE bill meeting you when he leaves, will create more problems down the road. AND, if you were to tell him that the sweet romantic stuff just makes you melt and love him all the more..... well, you can see where THAT is heading! Trust me, I have seen what happened to a few of our unit families, the arguments later when he IS deployed and the bills come due... NOT pretty.

LAW

[USMC SSGT Wife]

LAW & Guard wife... I do agree...Afterall he has 2 other children here in NH(besides our 2) so it will be a busy week. We did talk about it a bit today, he definately wants to brand himself with something symbolic of me and the kids. So that's our money taker this visit. The thing is I moved home with family to save $$ while he's gone but now he sees our BAH $$ coming in and gets excited, but I did remind him of bills we incurred for moving and all that jazz. thank you so much for the feedback...

[kss]

Hey all, I was reading this and suddenly stated worrying about the R&R. MT won't get leave till Oct but i'm already feeling nervous about getting thrown back into feeling overwhelmed and lost when he leaves again. It's my first deployment experience _ have you found ways to avoid a post-R&R plunge/ wall?

[Kel]

KSS... my best advice is to plunge yourself head first back into your pre-R&R schedule. I made like my schedule had never been interupted and it was more for the kids sakes but it also helped me a whole bunch... Not to mention a little retail therapy..lol

[Heather S.]

Oh I am so glad that I am not the only one who makes super-human goals and crazy plans for all I "will" do while hubby is gone. Among the list this time: lose 40 pounds (actually, I'm making some progress here), learn to garden, learn to play the violin, read every good book I've ever missed, save a bunch of money so he smiles when I show him the savings account, find a house and move in and set up, learn to cook and eat healthy foods, eliminate junk food from my diet (what was I thinking?), create a scrapbook for all the photos that I haven't even taken from the envelopes in the two years since I picked them up from the photo lab, organize every craft pattern I have collected, learn to swim--competitively (what?!), take a backpacking trip by myself just to prove that I can (I've never done anything close to that on my own), make a ton of new friends, etc. etc.

Now that I have finally realized that the scope of my goals is completely crazy and unattainable, I'm actually making better progress on things. I've picked a couple of things from my list and revised my expectations to be realistic and just do what I can each day. This is working out better for me. When I wanted to do everything on the list, I was so overwhelmed that I almost couldn't get out of bed! A good dose of realism has finally settled in for me--thankfully!

[Jewel]

I had the bright idea to make a scrapbook for my husband while he is deployed. What was I thinking? I know nothing about scrapbooking!! He's been gone about a month and a half and I've just begun purchasing the supplies I'll need, but haven't gotten around to actually making the pages. At this rate I'll have it done by the time he retires!

[Lee Anne]

I hear ya, Jewel! I'm still working on that scrapbook, and he got back six months ago! Oh, wait. It's gathering dust in my office. Maybe the next deployment... It is a relaxing hobby though.

[liberal army wife]

I don't scrapbook. I simply got a document box, and everything from the last 21 months that had to do with the deployment (including memorial/funeral cards for those we lost) was put in there. newspaper articles, letters, etc.. In a year or so, when its a memory, we'll go through it together, and maybe put something together then.

Heather - wow. that was a LIST!!!! glad you decided to pare that one down. I have lists (LOTS oflists) but usually have a Master list and a smaller one for each item on that list, with the steps for taking care of that one item. Getting through those sublists is a great feeling. The Master is the "things that would be nice to do" or as DH calls it, A Life List, those things we'd like to do in the next 20 years.

LAW

[Guard Wife]

Attn: Scrapbooking experts, novices and wannabes:

I'm working on putting together shows for SpouseBuzz radio to help you in your quest to keep your family's memories. :) We're going to talk about how to do it quickly and creatively, even if you can't do ANYTHING on your albums when your spouse is deployed. We'll have visual tie-ins here at SpouseBuzz and you can participate by submitting ideas, samples, how-tos, etc. so we can scraplift from one another!

I'll keep you posted on when, where, etc. :)