Review of Michelle Keener's book Shared Courage

If I could go back and talk to myself on September 10, 2001, what would I say?  What advice could I give myself on how to get through the next decade?

I think about this hindsight when I try to remember what I was feeling on certain key days in my family's military history: as the WTC fell, as the president announced that Saddam had 48 hours to comply, as Shock and Awe started, when the Saddam statue came down.  I try to remember what I was thinking on those days and whether what I predicted really did come true.  I remember arguments after 9/11 about how long the war would last, I remember those initial reports that Saddam was killed during Shock and Awe, and I remember elation when the statue fell, thinking it meant the end was nigh.  Some predictions were true, some were not.

But all of this happened before my husband ever became a part of the War on Terror.
Michelle Keener's husband was standing next to that Saddam statue when it came down.

CE Saviors

When I became a military wife, my mother - a former military spouse - gave me the best advice ever.

WATCH AND LISTEN WHEN C.E. COMES TO THE HOUSE!

In Case You Missed It...

Last night on SpouseBUZZ Talk Radio we were joined by Donna Musil, the filmmaker of BRATS: Our Journey Home. Among the many things we learned were that GBear is an introvert, (who knew?) there is a registry for military brats, which means years from now your children will be able to reconnect with their old friends if they are registered, a teaser about why you absolutely won't want to miss our July 19 show and (que dramatic music) SpouseBUZZ LIVE is coming to the East Coast.

Click on the icon below to hear the entire show.

Our hour with Donna Musil was fascinating. One hour felt like five minutes. Donna was a great guest. Engaging, intelligent, warm and funny. Donna said something that I found interesting. Watching her film with her mother has brought the two of them closer together. It's interesting to look at military life from various perspectives. To have our spouses see things from our eyes is enlightening to them. For military parents to be able to view military life from the perspective of their children is also enlightening. Thanks to Donna, millions of military parents now have that gift.

If you purchase the DVD, let us know what your thoughts were about the film. We'd love to hear your feedback.

PCS Season From the Sidelines

Like GBear, I will not be moving during the "normal" PCS season.  We are gearing up for a move, but not in the June/July/August rush.

However, it seems as though everyone else on my base is moving off or moving on; and although PCS season is normally hectic, this year seems to take the cake.  I'm not sure why, but I think that everyone is in a rush to hurry up and get gone before the Air Force realizes that PCS orders managed to slip through even though they ran out of PCS money about three months ago and put a moratorium on moving.

We aren't even going to get into that fiasco.

Donna Musil on SpouseBUZZ Talk Radio Tonight

A reminder that we will be speaking with Donna Musil, the filmmaker and Army brat behind the film, BRATS: Our Journey Home tonight at 6:00 EDT on SpouseBUZZ Talk Radio. Click here to listen live.

If you'd like to be added to our mailing list for future broadcasts, send me an email with the subject line, "SpouseBUZZ Talk Radio" and we'll contact you via email before each show to let you know when the show will air, and what the topic of the show will be.

You can join our Yahoo IM chat room tonight during the show, or call 646.478.5665 to be on the program and talk with our special guest, Donna Musil.

Some secrets are not meant to be shared

When I was about 12 (which was old enough to reach the tall cupboards), I made a huge discovery. 

Homecoming

Homecoming = Your service member will soon be coming home from a deployment.  Reunion time is a wonderfully exciting time for military families.  And possibly a bit stressful.

This posting will include various resources available to help spouses, children, girlfriends, boyfriends and parents of service members.  Some of the same available resources can be used in preparing for R&R time as well.  I hope that you will find the information helpful during your journey.

Wonderful News - Follow Up Post

About a week ago, I wrote about The Sad End of an Era. 

Today, I found one of those trademarked MilSpouse moments when you just KNOW someone is watching out for you.  I found someone - a big company even!- who showed me that military families are still on their list of people to care about.

As hubby and I paid for our new monitor at Best Buy, lo and behold - during check-out they ask you if you would be willing to donate to Fisher House!

A Smooth Move? Not So Much...

The Army has played games with me since I became associated with it through marriage. In my first year as an Army Wife, I moved three times. After that year, I settled into a more normal cycle of moves and I hit my stride as "Moving Goddess," which was quite an accomplishment given my history of disastrous moves. I've come a long way baby, or so I thought.

Just as I hit my stride, the Army plopped us into the Washington, DC area and decided to leave us there for an unheard of five+ years. Wicked sense of humor, those Army folks. Just when I know how to move efficiently, they decide to deprive me of putting my new skill to good use. We all know that if you don't use skills, over time they weaken, which has, unfortunately, occurred in my case.

SpouseBUZZ Radio: Thursday's Program to Focus on Military Brats

This week's radio program will feature Army brat and filmmaker Donna Musil. Donna will join us to discuss her film, BRATS: Our Journey Home. If you're a military brat, have military brats or have any connection to the military, you won't want to miss an interesting discussion on life from the perspective of a military brat. Watch the trailer to learn more.

More than 300 of you listened to the archive of our first show because you couldn't listen live due to work, dinner, kids...life. We've had many complaints about the time slot for our radio program (6:00 - 7:00 p.m. EDT). Believe me, we feel your pain and plan to have a more adult-friendly prime-time slot in the near future. We'll let you know when the time change occurs.

Where Did The Month Go?

Okay...so even after a half a decade at being a guard wife, I still think I can conquer the world during Hubs' hiatus from home each and every time.

Shall we take a journey through what I thought this month would entail?

Scrounge Club - the Spouse Version

Some of the tales that give me the greatest laughs when hubby tells them are the "Scrounge Club" tales.  They often start like this, "So, there we were ready to head off the FOB.  We had one set of radios, but the receivers never came.  Instead we got three flats of Sunscreen and one of microwave popcorn."

Hubby will then launch into a long narrative that involves about seven levels of trades to finally be able to rig up a workable radio system. 

These are my favorite stories.  What my hubby doesn't know, however, is that military spouses have a Scrounge Club, too.

Army Wives: Episode Four Discussion Thread

Whoa Boy! Where to start? If you made it through last night's episode without a knot in your stomach or shedding a few tears, I'm not sure how you did it. Action-packed doesn't even begin to describe it. Army Wives gets stronger and better with each episode.

Shaving and other sure signs the spouse is coming soon!

I like to ease into my homecoming preparations.....today I shaved.  It's a sure sign my husband is coming home soon.

Join the SpouseBUZZ Yahoo IM Group

For those of you who want to communicate with the SpouseBUZZ authors and our guests via Yahoo IM during our live radio show, please send a request to be added to our SpouseBUZZ Yahoo IM group between now and the next show, which has been moved from Tuesday, June 26 to Thursday, June 28 at 6:00 EDT in order to accommodate a special guest. More on this later.

For the show host, trying to participate in the conversation, work the radio/phone controls, administer the Yahoo group and keep up with the IM chat can be a challenge (at least it was for me...), so whatever we can do between now and show time (like approve new requests to be added) would help us focus on other tasks during the show.

Our Yahoo IM name is spousebuzz.

We're looking forward to adding you to our Yahoo group. 

The Wall

I am reading Homefront 6 post below, and I recall a similar, "feeling".  I will call it "the wall". 

Stalled

I apologize for my absence. Seems that we all deal with separations and such in different ways. Being that this is my first experience with a deployment, I wasn't sure how I would cope. For the most part, we're doing well. I find the biggest struggle for me is motivation. The rebellious side of me wants to chuck all of the "must do" things on my list in favor of the "want to" do things on my list. And I tend to find myself abdicating my responsibilities more often than not simply because I feel life owes it to me because of this deployment.

Did ANY of that make sense? The other thing that I struggle with is not getting enough sleep which makes my head cloudy so I'm not always the most articulate person on the planet!

However, I've had a firecracker lit under my rear end recently and I'm hoping that this is the start of a new phase in all of this and I hope to be posting here more regularly.

When Army Wives debuted, I watched the first episode grudgingly. I really didn't want to see, yet again, an hour's worth of stereotypical military wives running around, cheating on their husbands, sitting on their duffs, eating bon-bons and watching soap operas. That is not MY life. Nor is it that of any military spouse I know. I also didn't want to see the old "enlisted vs. officer" issue brought up ad nauseum. But my friend was watching it so I agreed to do the same. I was pleasantly surprised. Not entirely true-to-life but what TV show really is? After the first episode had aired, I wrote down some thoughts about the whole "enlisted vs. officer" issue that I thought I would post here today.

Wanted: food watcher

The Collective received gift certificates this week for participating in the public libraries summer reading program.  So of course I used them as leverage.  "If you are good this week, we will go out for dinner. " Quite frankly it was going to be  bigger treat for me, as I would get out of cooking, and doing dishes.

BRATS: A Film Dedicated to the Military Brat

Lately, I've been preoccupied with the idea of preserving our history as military families. It's my hope that letters, podcasts, books and blogs will offer a treasure trove of material for those who come after us, and that these items will give them some insight as to what it was like to be a military family in a post 9/11 world. One day, I'll be looking down from the clouds when someone discovers the letter that I placed under our hardwood floors, and I hope it is meaningful for those who find it.

Housekeeping Items

Those of you who are participating in the SpouseBUZZ Book Club and have read Shared Courage by Michelle Keener, please leave a comment or send me an email. When we interview Michelle about her book, one of you will be selected by lottery to participate in the interview and ask questions of Michelle. We're currently working on scheduling Michelle to appear on our radio program to discuss her book.

If you haven't read the book, buy a copy. It's a great read.

Kiss and Hug Contest

Submit a photo of your 'Best Military Homecoming Kiss or Hug' for a chance to be featured in Kmart's Heroes at Home Fund-raising Campaign, a $1000 Kmart gift card and a Kodak digital camera prize package!

The contest runs from 17 June to 7 July.  The Top 100 photos will be selected from an independent judging agency and posted for public voting from 7/23/07 through 8/12/07.  Visit here when the voting opens and vote by placing a Hershey Kiss icon next to your favorite photo.  The winning photo will be announced on August 20, 2007!

In Case You Missed It...

...we hosted our first radio program last night, and it was FUN. Our show was a relaxed, unscripted conversation between a few of the SpouseBUZZ authors and some of you, a perfect way to begin this new addition to SpouseBUZZ, the blog. Just a few of the many interesting things we learned: The bathroom is the only quiet place airforcewife can find to talk on the phone, ArmyWifeToddlerMom had some 'splaining to do when she didn't participate in the great Desert Storm baby-boom and GBear doesn't like her children all that much. Of course, you'll have to listen to the show for the story behind these stories.

Scenes From the Chapel

The surge has hit our base, and Reservists and National Guard from all over are here for training and awaiting deployment. 

I notice it most especially on Sundays, because the pews at mass are filled with people in ACUs.  There they sit, quiet and well behaved.  They pray more than most of us.  They are quick to run out and help the elderly retirees with mobility issues down the aisle.  They shake my hand and say, "Peace be with you," with the added undercurrent of a fervent wish.  They call my son, "Little Man" and compliment him on his hair.  Sometimes they tell me about their sons or daughters at home - they miss them so much.

 

SpouseBUZZ Talk Radio Begins Tonight

Just wanted to remind you that we're debuting SpouseBUZZ Talk Radio tonight at 6:00 p.m. EST. If you have a question, comment or want to discuss a certain topic, give us a call. You can also submit a question or comment via Yahoo IM, which we'll be checking regularly throughout the show.

You can listen to the live show from 6:00 - 7:00 EST by clicking here.

Dial in number to be on the show is 646.478.5665

Yahoo IM name: spousebuzz

If you miss the show, the program will be archived and available for replay sometime tomorrow.

It's our first show, so we apologize in advance for any hiccups that may occur... Hope to hear from you tonight.

It Could Be Worse...

I just wanted to add two more cents about Army Wives.  I've read lots of complaints that the show isn't realistic enough for one reason or another.  Some of it is valid: the "soldiers don't want their wives to work" bit should've raised warning flags for everyone, and heinously untrue statements like that make us all look bad.  But some of the other complaints seem to lean toward the nitpicky.  I read a lot of guff about the citation the LeBlancs got for their grass being too long.  Granted, it probably wouldn't happen on the day you move in, but maybe she show just wanted to find a way to let viewers know how much control the military has over our on-post lives and how even the tiniest things are considered a reflection of you as a soldier.  Maybe?  I'd like to think they at least put that much thought into writing the show.

Big problems we should worry about.  Little quirks -- yeah, the LTC's collar bugged the heck out of me too -- shouldn't turn you off from watching the show completely.  If we worried about every little detail of every show, we couldn't watch anything!  You wouldn't refuse to watch House because Cuban boat refugees could never afford to go to the greatest medical specialist in the world, right?

Plus, it could always be worse.  Did anyone else watch the rerun of Cold Case the other day?

Driver License Dilemmas

I have no idea what the official line is - but the need to find out when I am supposed to transfer my driver's license just jumped out and bit me this week!  I lost my driver's license!

Army Wives: Episode Three (Discussion Thread Open)

Another episode down. Another episode enjoyed.

Episode three had some surprises, but let's start with the non-surprise - Lenore Baker continues to annoy. I'm waiting for the episode when Lenore gets her "just rewards." I know it's coming, but until it's here, I have to laugh at her pathetic, over-the-top antics (as well as that funky music that's played each time she appears in a scene). Well, I laugh, and I gnash my teeth....

Many of the characters took control over their demons in last night's episode. Kudos to Chase, Pamela, Denise and yes, even Jeremy, for making the hard -- yet right -- choices.

What does being a military child mean on Fathers Day?

My children continue to amaze me.  For I do believe in my heart, that they have sacrificed more than I had ever imagined. 

And on the eve of this 2007 Fathers Day, I have spent a lot of time thinking about them. 

Making Dad Feel Special

My husband isn't a father yet, but I found myself thinking about Father's Day this morning and all the deployed fathers around the world who won't be home to celebrate their special day.  I was just wondering if you'd like to share with us what you and your children do to make Dad feel special when he can't be home for Father's Day.  Or, if you're the father who's home while mom is gone, what you plan to do on your special day.

The Sad End of an Era

Last week hubby and I headed to Home Depot to buy some packing boxes.  As we swished through the self checkout, I handed my military ID to the checker that was babysitting all of us.

"Oh," she said.  "I'm sorry, but we're no longer offering a military discount."

I felt a sudden profound sadness, and it wasn't because I was going to get 50 cents off my purchase, either.

SpouseBUZZ Talk Radio

The SpouseBUZZ authors are very excited to announce the debut of SpouseBUZZ Talk Radio. There is nothing we like better than to actually talk to our readers. We love traveling to military installations with our LIVE events because it gives us an opportunity to have face-to-face conversations with military spouses. We can't be on the road all of the time, and we can't get to every military installation, so a radio show is the perfect solution.

Please join us on Tuesday, June 19 at 6:00 p.m. EST when we host our very first show, which will be a "Meet and Greet" program. No script, no special guests, just a free-for-all chat between the SpouseBUZZ authors and you. No topic is off-limits.

Summer Break Time

School has been out for three weeks now and I have to admit that I haven't been missing my 6:15 a.m. wake up routine.  Sleeping in is wonderful; whether it's just one hour or a couple of hours longer than usual.  However, while the thought of additional sleep always excites me, weeks before the last day of school I was already feeling the pressure of figuring out how to fill our long summer days.  When school is in session, the three older children are in school everyday of the week and the youngest attends a Mother's Day Out program two days a week.  That leaves me two days every week to spend five hours doing whatever I want, or need, to do.  I am definately missing those two days!

Thanks Everybody!

Hi Everyone -

Just a quick note to say this will be my last post here on SpouseBUZZ.

As most of you know, I have my hands in several media and writing projects and there are only so many hours in the day to get everything done!

My time here at SpouseBUZZ has been great and getting to know all of you has been a privilege.

Resonation Update

The other day when I posted about predeployment anxiety and stress, I had put up a link.  Well I decided to change the font, of the information and upon doing so I had deleted the link. 

Darn it anyway.

So here is the link to Five Stages of Deployment

Go over and take a look at the information.  There is a lot of great content in the link, and I have enjoyed the discussion and suggestions to one another.  You are all amazing!

Testing 1-2-3...

Busy day here at SpouseBUZZ. We're testing out a new feature and plan to incorporate more polls into the blog.

Read the poll below and place your vote. Only one vote per person is allowed. We'll announce results next week. Please note that after you vote you can leave a comment explaining your vote.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Beauty and Bravery

Okay ladies, skip that next beauty treatment, or buy the Wet N' Wild lipstick rather than the Clinique. It all adds up and can make a difference.

What's Your Story: June Edition

The television series Army Wives has spurred a lot of discussion here at SpouseBUZZ. Leading up to the premiere episode, and right after the premiere, many milspouses were concerned with how real Army wives would be perceived by civilians as a result of on-screen performances. June's What's Your Story topic was inspired by that concern.

In our podcast with Marna Krajeski, Marna offered some great advice to those of us who are placed in largely non-military towns where the civilian population have little exposure to military life, which makes milspouses feel like caged animals on occasion. But, as Marna pointed out, when we can use opportunities to expose civilians to military life in a positive way, and become "emissaries" for the military, it serves all of us well.

With that in mind, the topic for this month's What's Your Story Contest is "What I want civilians to know about my life as a military spouse."

Degrees of Separation

Yesterday, my husband and I were sitting in the base Burger King waiting for our food to be done so we could scarf down a quick yet enjoyable meal sans children. And before I get to the heart of my post, I have to ask; what is it about the service at the base fast food restaurants? My goodness, I've had sit down meals at Red Lobster delivered more quickly! This seems to be true across the spectrum - not to mention the hours that the BK is open. Basically, whenever you probably won't need a meal.

But I digress. Let me get back to the point. Hubby was walking back to the table after checking to see if our food had come up for the umpteenth time when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. He stared at a young soldier's arm for a moment (the poor soldier, he probably thought he was in some kind of trouble), looked like he was going to say something, then visibly shook himself and walked away.

Hubby had noticed that the young soldier was wearing the Unit Patch from hubby's old Armor Unit.

Left Behind

This year is worst than most.....I'm the one left behind!

Resonation

While watching Army Wives tonight, I watched them take some real situation, and try to convey feelings and words through and actor and actress, and I think they may be on to something here.

The invariable disconnect, the wall that seems to proceed a deployment.

Army Wives: Episode Two (Discussion Thread Open)

After last week's premiere of Army Wives, I was anxious to see the second episode. How would the storylines and characters develop? The second episode did not disappoint. I thought the topics that were addressed were important, and realistic. This week, Army Wives was short on sensationalism, and long on substance.

Meet the Author

If you live near the Ft. Rucker area or Ft. Stewart you'll have to put on your POD (Plan of the Day) ;) to visit Holly Scherer at your local exchange. Holly and Kathie Hightower were the keynote speakers at SpouseBUZZ Live 2 in San Diego and were fabulous. They also did a break out called "Follow Your Dreams While You Follow the Military".

The Key Ingredient in My Room Makeover

I’m in the process of rearranging rooms in my house. I am a person who loves to rearrange the living room, my bedroom…etc. BigK does NOT like to move any furniture, ever. So, when I decided to do a flip with the bedrooms I knew it would not be pretty.

LilK has wanted a certain bedroom since we moved in, but in my mom wisdom I tried to convince him he might like the bigger bedroom with the walk-in closet, vaulted ceiling…etc. Well, after 10 months he still wants the smaller bedroom (why didn’t I listen the first time), so now we are rearranging.

What's Your Story Winner - April Edition

Due to SpouseBUZZ LIVE San Diego, we didn't announce a topic for the monthly What's Your Story contest in May, but we're back on track now. April's topic was, "How I Make a House a Home." Our winner was Stephanie Abbott. Stephanie is a new milspouse and below is her winning essay:

I am new to the military lifestyle. I have yet to experience the "joy" of a PCS since my husband is still in training and isn't due to finish until July. So, I may not be qualified to answer this. But, perhaps I am.

In the almost 6 years we have been married, we have moved 4 times. We’ve lived in a tiny, one bedroom apartment, a 20 year-old mobile home, a house with a sunken floor, and finally to our current home... a beautiful 2 bedroom with a huge backyard and a covered porch complete with swing. We rented this house with the idea that we would possibly buy it next year. Finally, after moving from place to place, I thought we were home. In my mind, a home is where you put down roots. It's a place that you raise a family, grow old, and never leave. Home is supposed to LAST. I thought we were done with moving and at last, we were home to stay. Then, as I was mapping out my vegetable and flower garden for next summer, my husband says to me, "Honey, I want to enlist." What?

Bad Mom Moments

I've had them, you've had them.  We're all bonded together by a string of mutual 'bad mom' moments.  It's what we talk about at bus stops, charity dinners and, apparently blogs!  But I think I've got the defining moment!

Home is Where the Car Is

Our military family has gone through quite a number of cars.  First, we tend to rack up mileage on them fairly quickly.  Moving across the country multiple times in a decade will do that.

Second, there are an ever-increasing number of us.  We have to keep adding seats. 

"...and 2 Weeks A Year."

Our "two weeks" is fast approaching and I'm perpetually amazed how the Army time continuum turns two weeks into a month. 

This is probably the first time where M2 is old enough to understand Daddy is going to be leaving...and she's not too happy about it.

Arrrghhh Maties (say it like a pirate)

My Dear Husband is away currently.  A short 6 month stint at military training.   The bad news is we only had 6 days to get ready for this.  The training was supposed to be "accelerated track", but as with all things Army, well it changed from 3 months to 5-6 months. 

We are preparers by nature.  DH is fanatical about disaster preparedness, we always have essentials for an emergency situation handy.  I am a domestic preparer.  I come by it honestly being a country girl.  I always have enough food in my freezer, and pantry, that  I can feed our family and farm hands for months if need be. 

However...

"I'll make it up to you..."

The other night DH and I were watching the TV show Criminal Minds, which is about an FBI Behavioral Analysis unit that goes all over the place solving crimes.  You've probably seen it...  One of the characters (can't remember his screen name, but it's the guy who played Greg on the show Dharma and Greg a few years back) was on the phone with his wife while he was away solving a crime.  He said, "I'll make it up to you... No, I don't know when I'll be home, but I swear I'll make it up to you."

At first I didn't think much about what he said.  I was kinda in my own world watching the show and vegging out before going to bed.  Then DH said something that got me thinking...

Odds and Ends

Looks like "Army Wives" smashed previous ratings records for a Lifetime original series premiere.

"Army Wives," meanwhile, brought in 3.5 million viewers for Lifetime on Sunday -- the best premiere for an original series in the network's history. (The previous record of 3.3 million belonged to "Missing" in 2003.)

Love it, hate it or reserving judgment, I still think it's going to be a big hit.

****

From the television screen to real life, if you didn't listen to the podcast with author Marna Krajeski, you should. In the podcast, Marna discusses the importance of creating a historical record of the lives of military spouses. I want to remind you that you could be featured in Marna's upcoming book. Please submit your stories for Marna's anthology. The deadline is August 1. Details here. Marna is correct, the more we document our lives, the better for those who come after us.

****

Yesterday, I was contacted by a reporter for The New York Times who had a very interesting question.

Guard & Reserve Health Information

Here is some great information for Guard & Reserve families.  The video library portion seems as if it will be extra useful for families.

Guard, reserve health info on new Web site

National Guard and reserve service members may now access information about their military health benefits online.

TriWest Healthcare Alliance, one of the Tricare regional contractors, launched a new national Web site Tuesday to help Guard and reserve members better understand what’s available through Tricare. The Web site provides:

• A video explaining benefits.
• A newsletter specifically for National Guard and reserve members.
• Post-deployment help and behavioral health resources for families.
• Links to eight support agencies and programs.
• Resources for military leaders.

Meet the Author

I spoke with Michelle Keener today, the author of Shared Courage: A Marine Wife's Story of Strength and Courage, the latest pick in the SB Book Club. She asked I invite you to one of her book signings if you are in the San Diego area.

"I will be at a number of bases out here this week. I will be at Miramar tomorrow (June 6th) from 11am-1pm, MCRD San Diego on Thursday from 12-2pm and Camp Pendleton on Saturday (June 9th) from 11am-1pm and 29 Palms on Monday June 11 from 11-1pm...if you are in the area come on by! And bring any SpouseBuzz readers! I'd love to meet you. I will be at the exchanges on all the bases."

I wish I lived closer to San Diego! I've already read the book, and I encourage you to pick it and join our upcoming discussion!

The Worst Part

We have come to the worst part of moving for our family - the search for a house to live in.

I hate this part, some of the worst arguments my husband and I have ever had have been over where we will live.  Inevitably, it is because what hubby wants to live in and what I want to live in are 180 degrees apart.

Let me explain.

"Army Wives" Discussion Thread

Episode one is a wrap. Who watched, and what did you think?

Click here for my original review.

Update: Discussion thread for the June 10 episode can be found here.