Army Wives: Episode Two (Discussion Thread Open)

After last week's premiere of Army Wives, I was anxious to see the second episode. How would the storylines and characters develop? The second episode did not disappoint. I thought the topics that were addressed were important, and realistic. This week, Army Wives was short on sensationalism, and long on substance.

The relationship between Pamela and Chase is difficult to watch. Unless Chase has an about-face, he's one of the characters that we're going to love to hate. Well, he and Lenore Baker, the snooty, busybody wife of a General. Other than Pamela's drama, and the drama involving Denise and her son Jeremy, I thought that this week's storylines were substantive and extremely relevant to the modern-day reality of many Army wives.

LTC Joan Burton's PTSD is making life at home strange and uncomfortable for she and her husband, Roland. I'm having a difficult time trying to figure out if Joan and Roland's story is one of PTSD, reintegration or both. PTSD is real, and I do understand that those who experience PTSD deal with it in different ways. Whether or not Joan and Roland's story seems realistic, it's still refreshing to see that PTSD is being addressed, but I hope this storyline becomes more clear in future episodes.

This week, Roxy learned that Trevor would be deploying to Iraq. She has a brief amount of time to process the reality, get Trevor ready to deploy and deal with her feelings about the deployment. Roxy tells Pamela, "I thought marrying a soldier would be romantic, but instead it's...worrying about if he's coming home."

Pamela, the veteran Army wife, tells Roxy that she has to be strong and keep it together for Trevor so that he can focus on his mission and be free of distractions. We've discussed this very topic here at SpouseBUZZ, and at our LIVE events. Most of the spouses we've heard from go out of their way to conceal their stress so that their spouse has one less thing to worry about while he/she is deployed.

There was tension between Roxy and Trevor as they began to prepare for Trevor's deployment. At one point, Trevor confronts Roxy and says, "it's like you're trying to pick a fight with me." It's been my experience, and that of others I've talked with, that a certain gulf between husband and wife often forms just before a deployment. Sometimes it's unintentional, other times it's by design. I was happy to see Army Wives deal with that strange period before deployment when you can't decide if you want time to stand still, or speed up.

I think many new Army wives can relate to Roxy as they watch her learn the ropes and adjust to life in an always-unpredictable Army. ArmyWifeToddlerMom and I have had several discussions on how impressed we are with the young, new wives who are thrust into a continual cycle of combat deployments. Both of us have come to the conclusion that the ones we've met and interacted with are beyond impressive, just like Roxy.

In my opinion, the best scene of the entire series (so far) came last night when Claudia Joy asked Roland how Joan was doing. Roland was reluctant to answer, knowing that Joan reports to Claudia Joy's husband. After Claudia Joy assures him that their conversations don't include her husband, Roland asks, "has Michael ever had any problems after a long deployment?" To which Claudia Joy replies, "of course he has, they all do. It's the part no one really talks about. On TV you see flag waiving and big reunions, but it's later, when it's just the two of you and you're looking at someone you love and you realize years have gone by, years you'll never get back, and during that time you've both grown, changed, but not together.

B-I-N-G-O.

When I first heard Claudia Joy utter those words, they were so dead-on that I felt I could have written that scene. Actually, I did write that scene a while back, just not for television.... Outsiders often believe when the buses are unloaded and the troops are home, all is well. In reality, many military families have to learn how to live together again. As crazy as it may seem to some, that's not always an easy adjustment to make. Remember this soldier's story? Claudia Joy was right, we can't reclaim what's been lost, it's part of the sacrifice that soldiers -- and their families -- make on behalf of their country. Proudly, I should add.

Last week, it seemed that most people focused on the sensationalism/entertainment aspect of Army Wives, and not the substance. Some thought there wasn't any substance to focus on. I thought substance was on full display this week. As for Army Wives, the series - so far, so good.

Now you've read my opinion, let's read yours. Discussion thread is open. What did you think of the second episode of Army Wives?

Previous Posts:

A Sneak Peek at Army Wives

Army Wives Discussion Thread (premiere episode)

Comments

[Jan Wesner]

I thought this episode was more realistic in the way that it showed the relationships between the husbands and wives. You're right - Claudia Joy's comments were the best part - no need for reality TV here - we've got our own realities to face already!
blogs.tampabay.com/standingby/

[LAW]

Claudia's scene was worth the whole show. And whilst I am wondering about the Roland/Joan story line which seems very accelerated, I think they are trying to front load the show, to demonstrate that it's NOT just "desperate housewives on post". The fighting before deployment... been there. Chase... almost human by the end. Roxy - love that girl!

LAW

[Butterfly Wife]

I am really impressed with Roxy as well. She is inspiring. I thought the show was very good.

[Carrie]

It's being rebroadcast tonight at 8:00 pm EST if anyone missed it.
Like me.

I'm getting hooked on it. It could just as easily be titled "Marine wives". While some situations seem just crazy and unbelievable, I have found that deployments do bring out the insane and dramatic. More times than not, I'd comment on a situation we were dealing with in the battalion as..'this was not covered in the Key Volunteer guide.'

[MO]

I think it was right on. Since I sat there annoyed by a few things some of the characters said to eachother. Put me back in the times I actually heard things like that uttered myself. So if this show can annoy me, I'd say they know what they are doin'.... LOL

[Heather S.]

I liked the second episode. I am kind of glad that the surrogacy part of Pamela's story line is almost over. I understand the tension between Pamela and Chase regarding money and was happy to see that Chase had a human moment at the end of the show...I didn't want him to be protrayed as "all bad." I really related to Roxy facing deployment right after getting married and trying to figure out army life in the middle of preparing for deployment. I could relate to the "trying to pick a fight" thing, too. Sometimes when we are worried, scared, and stressed, we can forget that we are on the same team. I think that Roxy's story line will continue to be my favorite. Claudia Joy's comment was definitely poignant and accurate. I was impressed.

[Tracy M]

So far I think I am liking the show.

It's kind of hard to catch what is going on with the E7 in for 14 years man is sitting next to me yelling at the TV put your collar down and where is your head gear. The first episode he was playing a game on the computer so I was able to watch for the most part in quiet, plus we where visiting my mother so I am sure he did not want to look like a fool in front of her.

He will be deploying in oh God 7 days. So I will be able to watch with out the yelling. I am sure I will miss the yelling after the first episode in quiet.

I was actually excited about this show coming on, hoping it will be some kind of support. We are in the Atlanta GA area, bought a house away from the base, there is one military family two doors down but they have family here and she has a job as well. So don’t want to bother her with my “poor me my husband is gone.”

If we had not bought a house I would be going home to stay while he was gone. I am really tired of this alone with the two teenagers waiting for the hubby to come home crap. It was not so bad when I lived on a base. We have only lived on two bases in our 14 years (can’t even count how many bases it’s been or deployments). I believe the next move he is going to try (try key word) and get the base in our home state, even if it is 3 hours away closer than we have ever been!

Sorry went off on my own little story here. Army Wives Yaah. When is Desperate house’s wife coming back on??

[Jenn G]

I love this show! I too am glad the surrogacy story line is about over. I think that was a bit much. And I can also relate to Roxy's character in the fact that I got married then he deployed. We had also only met a couple months before we got married, so almost the same. I moved 700 miles from home, knew nobody, didn't have a job and he had to leave. And it was my first summer without my daughter (she was spending it with her biological father). It was not a fun time.

Tracy, I am also in the Atlanta area, well a little further north. Not many people around me are military either since my husband is stationed at a reserve center and there is only 10 active duty peronnel there.

Ok, so back to the show, yea so far it's really great. I can't wait to see what happens with all the story lines. =)

[Kel]

I have got to say this episode captivated me more thant he last. It was more on point. Roland and Joan's problems are very real in our world and I can not wait to see how that will play out. The seen with the twins and Pamela breastfeeding a child that is not hers and who we knew she was trying to distance herself from brought tears to my eyes, as well as them turning them over to their parents. Her husband is the kind of character you will love to hate as is Lenore Baker who I already can not stand..lol. I am looking forward to seeing the episode for next week. and watching everyones characters evolve especially Roxy who is brand new to it all.

[annie]

I think the show is getting progressively better. The PTSD scenario is right on target. I think the surrogate mother theme is very far fetched. Truthfully for the 1st half of the episode, everytime the show went to commercial I laughed out loud. Having been a military wife for over 20 years, I have never completed my husband's predeployment checklist. If there are extra gas mask filters in my house, I would be the last to know. Yes, I've picked up a few things my husband didn't get etc at the PX. I hope the show continues on the more realistic track in which the last episode ended.

[Sarah]

I too thought last night's episode was GOOD.

I thought it was interesting that they displayed Roland's wife as wanting to get past deploying by having sex a lot, as if she didn't know what else she was supposed to be feeling. I wonder if other couples have tried to find the balance between "making up for lost time in the bedroom" and spending quality time talking and slowly getting to know each other again.

I also think it's on-target that they show that Chase and Pamela's problem is not that they make too little money but that they spend too much. That's an out-and-out American problem, but one that I've seen a lot in the Army too. While some may debate that we do or don't make enough money in the military, outrageous spending is often a big problem. I can understand what Chase meant when he said that he works hard and wants to enjoy life. People who stare death in the face might be inclined to think that they should throw caution to the wind and do whatever they want to be happy with the time they have. But sometimes that equals overspending.

All in all, I thought there was some really interesting stuff going on in this episode. I'm ready for next week.

[Guard Wife]

I'm loving this show...and with Hubs at training, I didn't have to contend with the running commentary I did last time. :) Roxy, so far, is my favorite. When she kneed that kid in the groin, I cheered. What a little twerp.
I'm looking forward to the next episode already!

[JodieCoyote]

I really like the show. Though my husband didn't like it. He thinks it "makes Army wives look really bad." He doesn't get that it is just a TV show -- he thinks people will watch and assume all those exaggerated stereotypes are more fact than fiction, but I don't think people will find it any more "real" than NYPD Blue or Grey's Anatomy.

I love Roxy. She's actually like more than a few Army wives I have known. She may have had it rough, but she's honest, loving, and decent -- traits that people with far better upbringing seem more often to lack. She's the type of "Army wife" I'd get along really well with. I love a girl that can mix a drink, handle bikers, defend herself, and never be ashamed of who she is. I loved it when she said, "They will be talking about my outfit for weeks, won't they?" And Claudia-Joy said, "Yes." That was great! Ithought it was very realistic that she was trying so hard to be a "good Army wife" and making little mistakes (shopping for deployment items) and watching the TV's war coverage compulsively. I also can relate to her subconscious attempt to drive a wedge between herself and her husband prior to his deployment -- I have seen it (and almost fell into that trap myself) a lot.

I like Claudia-Joy. Yes, she is a colonel's wife (I would guess that her husband is the post commander's chief of staff or the garrison commander since he was referred to as 'the number three guy on this post.') and she's all that one expects with it -- she's educated (Harvard), polished, polite, and more than a little tough. No, she's not above using her husband's position to get favors (RHIP). BUT, she's not stuck-up or hateful either. She's fiercely protective of the wives and families in her husband's command and towards her own friends. It will be very interesting to see how her rivalry with Lenore plays out. Did anyone else think the "FRG Lady" with Lenore was probably the CSM's wife??

(Spoiler) I am so glad that Holden confronted that boy for hitting his mother (can't think of her name). I don't like how she is so weak. If my son hit me, I wouldn't need anyone to help me keep it from happening again as he wouldn't be able to do much to me from traction . It just doesn't play realistically that he could be so abusive to his mother and she'd be able to hide it from her husband. He's clearly deeply disturbed and needs serious psychological help (thought that doesn't excuse what he's done). I also think he's ungrateful and spoiled.

I hate Chase. There. I said it. He's a jerk and a loser and a low-life. He's selfish, irresponsible and treats his wife like chattel. So, he showed a little humanity at the end of the episode -- big deal. I hate him. I wish Pamela would cut him loose. But I do agree that their problems have a lot to do with overspending and living beyond their means (they were in debt but he bought a new truck and a jacuzzi). I am glad Pamela took all that stuff back.

What I really didn't like was the whole Pamela-baby-hospital thing. She should have been hospitalized for at least 48 hours after giving birth (that's pretty much a national standard) and those babies (premature twins) would not have gone home from the hospital so quickly either. I know hiding the babies with Claudia-Joy was an important part of the plot, but as a nurse, that actually bothered me more than any inaccuracies about Army life.

I like Roland a lot. I think Joan does have PTSD. I think she feels dead inside -- incapable of feeling after months of stress and learning to just shut things down emotionally for the sake of the mission and her Soldiers. So she seeks sexual intercourse (intensity of feeling) and then alcohol (numb the pain). I think it was very telling when she said, "If you knew what I had done...." I hope they work they things out. I also find it very realistic that as a female officer, she sacrificed starting a family for the sake of a successful career as research shows most female officers leave the service after less than 10 years in order to have families.

Okay......I went on a bit --- sorry -- but I really do like the show! I haven't enjoyed an evening drama like this since Melrose Place!

[E.Deicke]

I can totally relate to Armywives! I met my husband in January of 07,got married in March 07,i also have a child that doesn't belong to my husband, but he totally has stepped up to be her daddy,after we were married i left home,all my family and friends to move where i am now Junction City KS,to be with my husband and start my new life as an Army Wife!!

[Erin]

I really liked the second episode! I love Roxy...I think that she really shows the strong tough attitude that military wives have to have, while at the same time being real and honest while making the little mistakes along the way while learning about the Army life. Overall, I think this is a good show and I'm looking forward to next week.

[Linda]

I had to laugh at Tracy M.'s comment about her husband yelling about the uniform. That was ME, lol! I kept thinking, "Joan's gonna put that collar down. They can't HONESTLY tell me they have a military consultant on this show and he/she didn't CATCH that!"...lol!

I like the show. I think it shows a lot of what our lives are like, as military wives in GENERAL...

Tracy M. If you're reading this - email me or leave your email on my blog or SOMETHING...let's chat about Atlanta - I was there, I went thru what you're going thru...and might be able to help!

[Ashley]

I was actually thinking "Oh God, not another show like this" when I first seen the previews for the show. But, of course, my curiosity got the better of me. And I fell in love with the show. It may be a little more, what do you call it, amped up for entertainment, but they are sending the right messages. They have hit the nail on the head with the feelings and the drama that we all go through. I can't wait for the next episode now!

[Christina]

This is a great show. Although I am a Marine Corps wife. I enjoyed the show. My husband is deployed right now and I do what I can to help the wives under me cope with the separation. I find myself a little bit of a Pollyanna.. I miss my Marine but won't show it. I come across as confident and ready to handle what ever comes our way but in reality, I need my husband's hugs and kisses. The kids and my full time job keep me very busy and secretly, I like it that way. Great show Lifetime! Totally what I expect from you. Keep up the good work.

[stacey]

I loved the show so much I started telling anyone and everyone about it. I love the fact that the emotions that the women are on point. My husband has been in training and deployed longer than we have been married and I am a newbie at the whole army wife thing. I am at Fort Lewis and sometimes still confused about what I have to do.
I love Roxy's character I see myself in her alot. I did alot of what she was doing it took other wives to tell me wat I was doing wrong. The dynamic between her husband is appealing to me because I was right there a year ago.
When seeing what Joan and Roland it almost scares me to think that happens because of everything that my husband has seen and done I am afraid that is how he is going to react. This is definetly a show that I program on tivo just so I can watch it over and over again to critique with my girlfriend who moved to Texas. I love Sundays just because of this.

[LEEANN BOYLE]

i enjoy the episodes, but as a Army wife ,my husband is retired after 25 yrs it is not realistic. 1st maj dancing on bar, son hitting Mom he would have been decked by most mothers, having baby in bar, the most realistic are the soldiers, wife working at bar, etc but will support series.

[sgts.wifey]

I really enjoyed the episodes so far. Some of the situations most women can relate to and actually understand the whys and the whats. My first thought was that it would be so overrated, had me fooled. This may sound crazy but if anyone rember China beach? Reverse situation, ironically speaking. Who knows I am just an army wife...LOL...and proud of it.

[Moni]

I love this show! It has a few things that made me laugh but it does talk about many important things.

My husband is deployed right now and by this time next year, we'll be married for 3 years and have spent only 10 months together. This is his 3rd tour.

Anyway, Stacey, I'm at Fory Lewis too and my best friend is in Texas as well! How funny!

[Amy]

I'm a reservist army wife. I didn't get any support last year while my husband was away except from close family and a few friends, I was so thankful for that. I really like the show and see lots of resemblance to what Army wives and Reservists wives have to go through. I just wished that they had it on an hour earlier then they do..

[Karen]

Give me a break! This show has horrible acting and it is so trite and lame. Make it real, and I'll watch. My husband and I could barely muddle through 15 minutes.

[Byrd Lady]

I am so looking forward to seeing army wives especially now after you all have posted so much about it. I am in DC and I do not think that it airs until Sunday 17th do they have real Military Wives doing any of the writing? I'll be they read Spouse Buzz to get their material.

[Pappy Patchin]

I watched the first two episodes. The first episode left me a bit miffed. I'm the guy that shouts "his brass is crooked, put your beret on", etc. My wife and I have been married for 7 of my 35 years of service. She is a Vietnam vet also. She was away for both episodes so I watched alone. The story lines are good but I believe the part about a surrogate wife and spendthrift are a bit out of touch - actually her not him. It's obvious there's a commo gap in their marriage. Having been associated with "The Powder Line" for many years I can see almost every character portrayed as a real person with similar problems I've known over my years of enlisted & commissioned service. Military life just adds the sets of rank, deployment, possible death, dismemberment or severe injury to an already jumbled modern American lifestyle. As a veterans Counselor I'm watching where the PTSD story line takes us. So far I like it.

[cheryl]

I totally relate with Roxy. I am new to this army thing!! It drove me crazy when my husband watched the first show with me, he was saying if that was to happen then this would happen... so i now watch it in another room by myself, i tried to remind him that this is tv and not one of those reality shows!! even though it seems like it is a reality show to me because i totally relate to Roxy!! I am hooked on the show already!! and can't wait for the next show to come on

[AFWife_Niki]

I love the show! I'm happy I have something to look forward to every week now that Grey's and Desperate Housewives are off for the summer.

I'm an Air Force wife and this show makes me want to get more involved with the on-base community and other AF wives down here. Although my husband and I have been married for 1yr and 3mos, I only moved to Dyess AFB to live with him 5mos ago because I stayed back east to finish my last year of college. Since I've been down here I've been working full-time and I just picked up a part-time job a couple of weeks ago. I don't really have time to join groups or anything. Most of the young ladies I know and hang out with are airmen themselves and I know them through my husband. We don't live on base and I only know three wives down here, all of whom live off base too. Two of the ladies I work with and one I met when I first came down here. The husband of one of the ladies I work with is deployed in "an undisclosed location in the Middle East" (like we don't know where that is) and I turn to her whenever I have questions. She's been married for 7 years so she knows more about this lifestyle than I do. Plus we talk about the show on Mondays and comment on how if that was our son beating us, he'd be in a wheelchair.

I am trying to join ESC but I haven't heard back from the president, who also happens to be my hubby's squadron's Key Spouse, despite my calling her and leaving several messages to find out when the group meets and if they are still active during the summer. I know OSC isn't. But who knows, maybe she's just busy.

So while I'm still searching for some connection to the wives down here I treat the ladies in the show like they are my own support group. I know it's kinda sad, but I'm happy I get to see some of the things other wives experience, even if only via television.

[Bonny]

I just found you and this site. I like the show and am surprised that I do. I thought it would be hokey and cliche but it's not. The one thing that bugs me is Lenore and her visit to Pamela. I am involved with FRG and I would be ashamed of her behavior. I don't care if she is a general's wife. You don't barge into someone's house and you don't force yourself on a grieving family. That's not the FRG I belong to and thank God for that. With that being said, I can't wait for the next episode. I want to see the abusive son get his butt kicked.

[Army Dad]

I am apauled at comments about cheering when a guy is kneed in the groin. This has become a popular past time on tv and is now becoming everyday in real life. It is actually ana ssault. Would you cheer if a female was acting like the guy did and he punched her? i think not. Attitudes need to change..

[liberal army wife]

excuse me, Army Dad. In this instance, the young man was beating his mother. In order to get a larger and stronger person to stop beating a physically weaker one, a knee to the groin is the least he could expect. If the tables were turned, I would expect the same to be said. it was a matter of stopping the physically stronger one from beating the physically weaker one. So AD, I have NO sympathy for that cretin.

LAW

[Byrd Lady]

Heather S,

I miss deserate housewives all the time and it is my favorite show last season I just bought the series it was $50.00 though. I found out latter from my youngest son that I could have gotten it on amazon.com for much less

[armyriter]

I have to say that Lifetime did a terrible job of working with me as a screenwriter in 2004/2005 during my script option with them. It was long, bad ordeal for over a year, after my husband returned from deployment. I have been an army officer, was injured, now out, and a struggling screenwriter for almost 10 years. I have been an army wife for 22 years since we were cadets. Thought I had gotten my 'big break' when he was deployed. I was so excited by it. Then it turned quite nasty. I was treated very unprofessionally (probably because they thought I was a just an army wive living in Alabama who they could rip off). I ended up with not only an agent involved but also an attorney, who was great.

They didn't buy my script but optioned finally. Then this last Christmas (mine was a Chrismtas script) I saw Lifetime's christmas film that had many of my script's elements. Talked to my attorney, not much I could do because they changed just enough to where I couldn't take legal action.

I had also talked to a Lifetime producer and executive about a script I was working on about non-traditional army wives dealing with deployment (have the emails to prove it) This was in 2004. I've also been in touch with a fellow writer who had a similar experience with them. They do not have a good reputation in H'wood from everyone I've talked to. And I think they are actually headquartered in Canada, or at least do most of their filming there so don't have to hire US film crews.

Anyway, if this is how they show 'support' for army wives, I'd rather not have it. Of course, my story with them is personal. But just like the army wives' show, I could write something about my experience with this network and 'expose' a bit of network 'dirt' just like they think they are doing with this show about the army.

When I saw the show I was relieved. My script is so much better and doesn't come blasting through the screen with the very first shot of someone's butt. They do a poor quality of story telling (looking at it from a writers view with a masters in screenwriting). All of these points, the PTSD, the financial problems, abuse, etc, could be brought to light, just in a better, more poignant way. I'm disappointed that Mark Gordon is producing and it's not a better quality show. I at least had high hopes for it due to him. But then Lifetime's goal is money for less quality. I know I sound like a disgruntled writer.

But you ladies know how it is to try to establish a career while moving 15 times, etc. I've dreamed of being a screenwriter since I was 17. It took me three universities, due to constant moving for a while and being a mom, to finally get my degree in writing.

Luckily I did have a film made in Australia right after the Lifetime debacle. So all's well. But they have been my worst experience in filmmaking so far. Other producers in H'wood, like Hallmark network, have been wonderful.

When I heard this series was coming on air, I cried. I thought any network but Lifetime. I mean, after all, Gordon produces Grey's Anatomy and he also produced some of my fav films, like Saving Private Ryan. Why not give the wives' stories the same treatment as that?

When a script/story similar to yours is made, you don't get another chance. You work on a script for months, even years.

Just thought you might like to know an 'insider's view' of filmmaking and this network in particular. I am glad they did do an option with me, but to deal with me in that fashion...well, I learned valuable lessons, looked for the silver lining and moved on. Until this show (which I had pitched as a film) came on.

Hopefully their production quality will at least improve. HOpe I don't offend anyone that likes the show. Not my intent. Just to shed some light on this 'women's network.' They have a new CEO, so maybe that will help.

[armyriter]

BTW, the network dubbed this show in the beginning as the 'blue collar desperate housewives,' which I found insulting. That was in March of this year. I have access to the trade magazines. Variety, a film trade magazine, gave it a bad review also.

In this week's episode, the ladies will be naming their vaginas while out for drinks. May be funny. God knows we do use humor to get through deployment and this lifestyle. But I just can't watch after the experiences I've had with the network. My army wife friends and I, also army veterans, talk more about the politics of the war, politics in general, etc. But maybe it's because we've been in for over two decades now. Lifetime wants to stay away from the political points of this war. Like we don't or can't have opinions. Couldn't be further from the truth in my army world. And that comes up in my script. If we can't stand up for or question what needs to be done, due to our lives depending on top level decisions, who can?

[Army Dad]

Well, Law,
Note that I didn't comment on the specific situation, only that the person aplaueded the act of kneeing him in the groin. It was their only reference. I am not saying that people should not defend themselves, and if the situation really requires it, a knee to the groin is ok. but to applaud only that action is pointing out that they enjoyed THAT particular thing. So maybe you got it wrong. Apllaud the person defending themselves, or someone helping them but don't go around pointing out that you gained enjoyment at someone being kneed in the groin. If a woman were attacking another woman and I pointed out that I clapped when she squeezed the hell out of the other woman's boob, I am not drawing attention to self defense or what ever situation, only the physical act that I found empoering. Every show you watch nowadays has women attacking men, hitting men, kicking men, and showing funny clips on men getting hit in the genitals. You would see an outcry if there were the same pervasive presence of violence against women or mockery of women. And before you make refence to the past when women felt the same way and this is payback, when you say that you strive for equality and justice, then you do not seek the pendulum to swing the other way and place those same stigmas on the other party. Many of us did not contribute to the past or current violence against women, portraying them as dumb, or exploitfully displaying them as sex objects that women fought against. You favorite show desperate housewives, very exploitive, shows all the men to be incompetent morons, and shows enough nudity that it should be on a pay channel. We don't watch that kind of demeaning crap in my house.

[Bonny]

Army Dad,

I feel for your situation. I have a son and would not like him to get kicked in the genitals but I also know he doesn't hit me or any other woman. How should the women have handled that character? Keep in mind that the boy was hitting and has hit his own MOTHER. What kind of man is that? This is only a tv show but karma is a $##$^ and what goes around, comes around.

[Tankerlover]

So far, I'm loving this show. When I heard about it coming out I thought, "Hmm..another Lifetime show." Then I thought that it was a good idea. In my (short) experience, I've found a lot of people don't really see soldiers as normal people. They don't realize a lot of the sacrifices that are made and the families that are involved. Some do, don't get me wrong, but some don't. It's good to open some peoples' eyes a bit.

Moving on, I love Roxy! I think, mostly, it's because I can so easily relate to her. I'm not married (my boyfriend won't get married while in the Army...for good reasons, I think.) but I have been with him for almost 2 years, since the day he went into Basic Training. Even with those two years behind me, I still can't get all the Army stuff straight! Kudos to all the experienced Army Wives out there. There's so much to learn and get used to. My boyfriend also just deployed a month ago, so I'm in the same boat Roxy's in. I'm anxious to see how her story unfolds.

[LAW]

I detest desperate housewives and have seen exactly 1/2 episode. so why is this suddenly my favourite??? what ever you watch, you watch. i don't condone beatings of any kind. BUT I was taught by more than one cop, when you are threatened, protect yourself and hit where it hurts. You don't like it, then don't watch.

LAW

[Melissa]

I think the show is great! I am not an Army wife but an Air Force wife. I think Roxy is my favorite. I got married young and had only known my husband a short time, most of that time he was away at basic training and tech school. Our first base was overseas so it was a huge shock to be thrown into military life. Roxy kind of brings you back to those feelings you had when your military life began, scared and excited at the same time, not really knowing what the acronyms meant or your spouse's SSN...lol!

[Heather S.]

Has anyone read the book on which the t.v. show is based? I just finished the book last night and I really, really loved it! I could see where some of the story lines came from and some of the reasons they were presented in cerntain ways. More than that, though, the book does an amazing job of telling the stories of several different army families in a very readable and interesting way. In the book, Fayetteville is as much a character as any of the characters (one of the author's stated intents)...which i really loved and related to. I enjoyed the different perspectives presented in the book and was not distracted by details like upturned collars or misplaced patches. And in the book, each woman has her own story and faces her own "crisis." I really liked how each woman's story was presented. Any others out there who have read it? What did you think?

[liberal army wife]

Heather, where did you find the book. Here in civilian land with no base around, I have been trying to find it in a bookstore, but may have to get it online. I thought they would have a "tie in" to the TV show at the big books stores.. but not so far.

LAW

[Heather S.]

I actually found the book at a local library in my town. I'm not near a base either, so I was pleasantly surprised. Amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com are good resources, too, and sometimes cheaper than the real stores. Also, almost any bookstore will order the book for you if they don't have it on their shelves. Hope that helps! It is really worth the effort...I loved it!

[Erin]

Heather S-
I have actually read the book that the show is based on. I read it about a year ago I guess before I even had an inkling of an idea that it would be a tv show one day. I agree with you...I loved the book! And it makes it easier to see where some of the story lines are actually coming from, which can be helpful. I found it at a store in town here called "Books-a-Million". I'm not sure if that store is local or if there are other ones out there...I haven't seen any in my travels but that is where I found it. It was actually in the Military History section...right next to the "Married to the Military" book, which I have also read and found to be helpful. Anyway, check that section out in the bookstore that you are near...you might find it there.

[LoriB]

I'm enjoying the show so far but I'm wondering when they are going to show the family with the special needs child/children. I've been married for almost 20 years and have yet to be stationed anywhere where the housing office doesn't keep you seperated from everyone else so that the ambulance drivers know which neighborhood to go to. At one post every house for 2 blocks had at least one person in EFMP. I'm wondering why they don't show that on TV.

When my husband is home I deal with his PTSD, my daughters Autsim and Epilespy,and my sons learning disabilities. And when he's deployed I deal with the FRG, deployment oh yea and my children. Because I have found that the "gossiping wives" can't handle dealing with my autistic child I don't take her to any meetings even if child care is available.
I have learned not to lean on or ask for help. Other wives can come to me and I will do all I can to help them but I will never go to anyone.

[101st Soldier's Wife]

I love this show! There are a few quirks here & there that you catch and just laugh off when it doesn't fit but being in the medical field, I can find the same mistakes on Greys Anatomy & ER.. I still love it!!!

[ras4ever]

So far, I am enjoying the show. At first, I was sceptical that it was going to be just a "soap opera" style show about Army wives. But, for the most part, the issue are realistic. Of course, the have to sensationalize it a little to keep the rating up among non-military viewers. I would have to say my 2 favorite characters are Roland and Roxy.
I do have to agree with the lady who's E-7 got annoyed with the way the uniform was being worn. I don't think that the producers realize that not wearing your beret/or cap outdoors is a no-no. But, of course those of us who are around Army 24-7, are going to catch on to things like that.

[af reservist wife]

I thoroughly enjoy the show. After having gone thru my first deployment and not knowing any of the other military wifes or for that matter much of my way around the base, I felt very much alone, so I joined the OSC. I was able to discuss my teenage son's ADHD and get helpful tips and support from another wife whose son is ADHD. I live about an hour away from the air base and I try to make all of the OSC meetings. When I first saw that the show was coming on I decided I definitely had to watch. I wasn't disapointed. I can very much relate to Roland. When my husband came back from deployment he was the opposite of Joan. He became very dependent on me and some times I felt smothered, but he has since gotten over that and it's back to normal. Hope Joan and Roland can get the help they need to work it out. Looking forward to the next episode.

[Kima]

I loved the Army Wives. I myself am engaged to be married into this lifestyle.
And that it is. I've been trying to gather as much information as possible, from books to speaking to others about what to expect. I love that this show adds the visual needed for many women already living this life and just about to enter into it. Roxy, yes is my favorite. My DH is deployed now and I can relate to the uncomfortableness right before deployement. I missed it when it debuted but made sure to Tivo it. Now im sitting with tissues in hand waiting for the next episode.

[Navydocswife]

This show could be called Military Wives! My husband deploys with the Marines and Navy Seabee's. The first show I watched by myself and the 2nd episode my husband was with me, we definately had moments that we felt they were talking about us. I can't tell you how many times after his last deployment he would wake in the night and reach for his rifle or a loud noise outside and he would jump out of bed onto the floor. I have been a Navy wife for 17 years, and I am really liking the show but of course he is very critical of Military TV shows or Movies...they never get 'em quite right! Also, the interaction between Officer and Enlisted wives would not be so close...hated to throw that in there but it's true.

[Lance]

My complements to Army Dad about the groin incident. The double standard in society is truly disturbing. If a man strikes a women (even in self defense), he is committing a sin, yet it is completely acceptable for a woman to strike a man.Get a clue. Domestic violence is domestic violence.

See: http://www.glennsacks.com/new_doj_domestic.htm

[Erica]

Send your troop a keepsake gift he can defend with all his heart!

Call Erica @ 678-755-1334

I PROUDLY served my country for 6 years!! During that time, I spent, what felt like, an eternity apart from the ones I love. I was fortunate enough to have loved ones back home that cared enough for me to send me letters and packages to keep me grounded. If you have never been deployed or seperated in any way from your loved ones, then you have no idea how important it is to a soldier to receive something from YOU!! Don't put it off!!

[strykerwife1983]

ok i was just as shocked by the surrogate thing as most everybody else was, but i did a bit of research on it and it turns out that it is quite common for milspouses to take that route. this year tricare is trying to make it "law" that they wont cover costs of a milspouse being a surrogate and giving birth. if she wants tio be a surrogate, more power to her but she has to pay for all the treatment and the delivery herself.