Government and You E-News - February 27, 2007
February 28, 2007|
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What's the 411?
February 28, 2007|
I've received a couple of email complaints from spouses who are unhappy with the internet and cell phone service that our spouses are using to communicate with us from overseas. One Army wife forwarded a complaint letter that is apparently being circulated in military circles because she says that internet service is spotty and rates are being raised. I have no firsthand knowledge about how these services work or how effective they are.
What's been your experience and where can we find more information about this? A google search took me all over the place and, as I said, I'm just unsure of the process and how it works. Having said that, I'm sure it's a daunting challenge to provide this service, but if it doesn't work so well, I can understand why our troops are reluctant to pay for the service.
Let's hear what you have to say and maybe we can get someone in official channels to respond.
When are you leaving?
February 27, 2007|
I am sitting here laughing at my current situation. Particularly after reading the post just below this one. "When are you coming home".
Most of we mil-spouses during time of war, know the inevitable moment will come, when our spouses walk away from us for a nine month to 18 month deployment.
My Husband happens to be with a National Guard Unit, they have been over one time, and we know it is coming again. We are also ok with this, it is his job. But the media, by way of a Pentagon spokesperson has reported by Husbands Unit is preparing for another deployment 2 times since November.
When ARE you coming home?
February 27, 2007|
This topic popped into my head just now - one that I don't think has been discussed yet on SB (and if it has, I apologize to whomever wrote about it). It pertains to the "rumors of homecoming." In other words: when your loved one is due home from deployment. This is one of the most stressful and frustrating things for me as a spouse. Rumors. UGH!!!
Household Baggage Wrap-Up Discussion Thread
February 26, 2007|
Time to discuss Household Baggage, our SpouseBUZZ book of the month. We've already had a discussion on the first half of the book. Today, we'll discuss the rest of the book and ask you to submit your questions for a podcast interview that some of the SpouseBUZZ authors will participate in with Marna, the author of Household Baggage. We delayed this post because some of you had not received your books as of the first discussion, I hope you've received your book and read it by now.
Odd Sniffing
February 26, 2007|
My husband smells SO GOOD.
In fact, he smells so good that more than once I have been caught in the completely ridiculous position of having people witness me lean over to sniff him at odd times when we're in public. It's fairly easy to catch me at my sniffing, though, since I do it all the time. And the last thing I do at night before falling asleep is take a deep breath right next to him (unless he's been eating broccoli, then I borrow his bio-chem gear).
I'm not sure how many other women do this, or how important smelling someone is to other couples. But I do know that whenever he is gone I am truly grateful to have that smell memory in my head, where it sometimes - just as I'm falling asleep - trickles down to my nose.
Coping
February 24, 2007|
Last week, MacGyver called. He doesn't call often, preferring to IM rather than deal with the line at the phones or the delay when talking to us. But he had some down time and decided to call. We have our "code words" that allow him to let me know when he's due to fly and he's very good about sending text messages to my cell phone when he's made it back safely. I live for those messages.
MacGyver is a safe pilot. A cautious yet confident pilot but not a hot dog. He knows the limits not only of himself but also of his aircraft. However, 2007 has NOT been a kind year to the aviation community. So I worry. I can't help it. I try not to. I try to keep myself busy and I try to remind myself that the likelihood of anything happening to him is slim. But I still worry.
The time frame for his return came and went and I did not receive the anticipated text message. I did my best to stay calm and not panic. Our church has a Deployment Ministry group and we were due to meet that night, which was a blessing because those men and women understand my worries and don't think I'm crazy to ask for prayer requests because it's been 12 hours too long and I'm worried.
"Military Saves"
February 23, 2007|
There is a new DoD-wide program available. And I always say, who can't use some money advise?
"Military Saves" is an ongoing, DoD-wide program that also sponsors money management seminars titled, "Moneywise in the Military," held at military installations across the country, Leslye A. Arsht, deputy undersecretary of defense for military community and family policy, said today during an interview with the Pentagon Channel and American Forces Press Service.
"We want financial planning and financial strategies to become a part of everyday life" for servicemembers and their families, Arsht said.
Go here to continue reading the article written about the program.
Go here to visit Military Saves directly.
From the Mailbag
February 23, 2007|
Wanted to let you know we're a bit behind on posting the email questions. If your question hasn't yet been posted, it will be posted soon. For now, this question comes from Kristi, and it's one that milspouses frequently struggle with.
Government and You E-News - February 20, 2007
February 22, 2007|
Topics in This Week's News Include:
1. Protecting the Benefits of Surviving Children
2. Fiscal Year 2008 Budget Hearings held in Various Committees
3. Senior Enlisted Advisors Testify
4. Top Groups Receive Family Readiness Awards
5. Family Program Leaders Define Top Concerns
6. Virginia Continues to Pass Military Friendly In-State Tuition Legislation
7. Position Announcement for Deputy Director of Government Relations
Girlfriends, Boyfriends - This Post is For You
February 22, 2007|
Got an email from Maureen, the girlfriend of a deployed soldier.
I'm not a military wife, just a girlfriend, but I've enjoyed reading the posts and wonder if there is any place for me, here or elsewhere, to get and give support. This is my first deployment situation, bf is special forces in Afghanistan, and it has been sooo much harder than I anticipated. I would appreciate any help you can give me. Thank you.
Maureen - this is the place for you. Yes, this is SpouseBUZZ, but hey - "significant others" need support too. All of you significant others, this is your thread. Let us know who you are. Talk amongst yourselves. Tell us how we spouses can help you. Have at it....
Found: FRG
February 22, 2007|
Back in January I wrote a post titled Wanted: FRG . I had several complaints about my "non-existent" Family Readiness Group, but the largest of those was the lack of communication from the FRG Leader.
Well, after writing it, re-reading it, and reading all the comments, I decided it really was time to be pro-active; to stop barking behind closed doors. I picked up the telephone and called her (the FRG Leader) again, with nothing but positive results. It is possibly the best thing I'd done for myself all month long.
The premise of my call was to ask her if I'd been added to her mass email list. We had emailed one another a couple of times, but they were all one-on-one emails. Sure enough, she had forgotten to add me to that list. A mistake that was easy to make and just as easily remedied. She promptly emailed me the most recent newsletter from the commander and an informational flyer. There had been communication; I was just missing out on it. Okay, one issue resolved.
power of the purse
February 22, 2007|
Our home, has been under the weather, with the cold/flu virus, that seems to have reached every corner of the United States. And I was functioning on a sort of survival mode last week. Doing all I could to keep up with the bare minimum. Which as a Mother, I loathe.
It was week of mix-ups, forgetfulness, and misunderstandings.
Time to Go. Now. Right Now.
February 21, 2007|
It is time for us to PCS. I mean, we are waiting to figure out where we are going because career wise it is time for hubby to PCS. But really what I mean is, we have accumulated too much stuff and we need to move so I have an excuse to dump most of it.
Big military benefit, right there. Every time my kids have an excess of Happy Meal toys clogging up their bedrooms, the bathrooms, and my living room toy box - it's time for us to go. And we're not taking those toys with us. They are SO curbside.
Living with Fear
February 20, 2007|
It's a part of my life. I have lived with this for over 10 years now. Living with fear has given me a chance to get to know many things about myself - some I like, some I need to change. But I live with 'Fear' as a close acquaintance.
10 years ago my son was diagnosed with Stage IV Rhabdomysocarcoma, a rare pediatric cancer. Now, he's a 13 year old young man who I admire, love and often shake my head at in response to his typical teenage behavior. He's the source of great pride for me and great fear.
Today, I realized that sharing that fear is a community thing!
Did you know?
February 20, 2007|
In this week's Military Report:
The Most Bizarre SpouseBUZZ Post Ever
February 19, 2007|
I have a toilet sitting in the middle of my kitchen floor. Yes, a toilet (a clean one, though) and no, nobody can actually use it.
Andi.Has.Lost.Her.Mind
Why is a toilet in my kitchen?
I'll tell you soon, and I bet many of you will be able to relate.
A Good Samaritan saves the day!
February 18, 2007|
I intended to post about this, but after reading GBear's post about snow etiquette, I figured now was a good time.
DH and I returned home from Walter Reed (he had surgery on his hand) to 12+ inches of snow in our driveway - and don't forget the layers of ice in between the layers of snow!!! As mentioned, DH had surgery and his left hand is in a cast. He was shoveling one-handed while I was doing my best to shovel and break up the ice (I have a bad back, hence my medical discharge from the Army a while back). We were both tired, cranky, sore, etc. and we started biting each other's heads off. Then I managed to get the truck stuck in the snow, which really started the "snowball of bickering." And we still had to go to our friends' house to pick up our kids!
The Bucket Brigade
February 18, 2007|
Here is something I hear often enough from civilian friends and family members about our childrearing methods... "You're too hard on your kids! They're only KIDS, you should give them time to be KIDS!"
The last time I heard this was when I told my then 7 year old daughter (we were at a gathering at someone's house) to clean up the mess she had made with the toys - there were Polly Pockets EVERYWHERE, and that she was not going to get dinner with the rest of us until she did.
It worked in nothing flat. The bedroom she had been playing in was made spotless, the Polly Pockets neatly stowed in their nifty travel container, and #2 washed her hands and sat at the table only slightly later than the rest of us.
What Didn't You Do That You Were Supposed to Do?
February 16, 2007|
The other night, I was watching War Stories Iraq: The Homefront to the Frontlines. The show followed Marines in Iraq and the families they left behind at Camp Lejeune. One of the profiled wives went out to the garage, started a truck and let it run for a few minutes. She explained to Ollie North that her husband had left instructions to start his truck once a week. The segment reminded me of something.
The upside to military life
February 16, 2007|
I have received a lot of response regarding my post on my blog, "Goodbye Seems to be the Hardest Word". Much of it was touching and insightful.
"Frankly Opinionated" writes:
You "love" them so much you hate to see the end of it. Same here once. You "love" a good piece of cake don't you? I do. Will the cake be forever? Should you not someone who can't be forever? We would be some empty hearted people if that were so. I have convinced myself that, no matter how much I love knowing, seeing this person, or that group, that at the next stop, I will meet someone just as special, just as great and loveable. When a relationship,(of whatever depth), ends, I relish the memories of the good spots, and totally phase out those less than good. Perhaps, with the "goodbye" could be a bit of "I've really loved this time in my life, it has been very special." And then silently tell yourself that it is time to see this next event.
And he has a very valid point.
From the Mailbag
February 15, 2007|
The mailbag is active. We have several spouses seeking advice and information.
Our first question comes from a milspouse who is about to move to Ramstein.
I am an air force spouse with four children two of which are old enough to have after school activities. My daughter currently is taking beginner level ice skating lessons (pre-competition level) and would like to continue with the sport in Germany. If we were in Spang. this would be no problem (Bitburg has a rink), but everyone we talk to currently at Ramstein can not help us. I contacted a skating forum and they directed me to this site in the hopes that I could find someone else who also has a child in the Ramstein area who ice skates. My daughter is also currently taking ballet lessons from a Bolshoi graduate and we would like her to also keep up with quality lessons (I know the youth center sometimes offers ballet lessons, but they are only offered when they have someone to teach and oftentimes the quality is not very high). I tried to find dance schools on the internet, but they are few and far between. Can someone possibly help with this as well? My son does hockey (which when his sister gets situated we'll probably find hockey there for him) and also gymnastics. This is sort of difficult. I do not if the youth centers have classes for boys let alone equipment for them to use. Same goes with using the internet, no luck. If possible, can someone help?
Snow Etiquette
February 15, 2007|
It has been snowing here since Monday night. In fact, we are getting pummeled with the "white death". TV news is filled with stories of the hardship of life from IN to NY. Our local news is filled with interesting ditties as well.
I live off base and I'm not sure I understand the rules sometimes. For instance, what is with people ignoring the rules of who shovels whose driveway!?!?!?!
And the Survey Says....
February 14, 2007|
The Army is conducting a post-deployment survey.
Soldiers and Family Members, Active & Reserve Components: This survey gives you the opportunity to evaluate your Post Deployment and Reintegration experiences. Others can benefit from your experience.
Click here to take the survey.
Civilian to Militarese - Chapter Two
February 14, 2007|
Even my 65 year old auntie knows what a REMF is.
However, when my fourteen year old recently got in trouble with MySpace and I was discussing the issue with my auntie, she had no idea what I meant when I said, "Hubby and I are planning her 'Come to Jesus' talk tonight."
Apparently, I learned later from other family members, she thought we were going to take her to a revivalist tent meeting.
NMFA Government And You E-News - February 13, 2007
February 13, 2007|
Topics In This Week’s News Include:
1.Task Force on the Future of Military Health Care Briefing
2. Deadline Nearing for Many Military Friendly Scholarships
3. Virginia Legislation Clarifies School Age Tuition Charge Exemption Rules
4. Department of Defense Fiscal Year 2008 Budget Released
5. AAFES Delivers Pizza, a Movie and Magazine to Students Who "Make the Grade"
6. Wounded Service Member Rehabilitation Center Opens in Texas
Family Planning
February 13, 2007|
My husband and I are trying to have our first baby. Actually, we're in that nervewracking time in between "trying" and waiting to see if it actually worked. I know every woman in the history of time who's ever tried to have a baby probably thought that this was a fretful and jittery time, but our jitters are magnified by circumstance: we need this to happen now because the husband's only non-deployable for one year. If it doesn't work and we have to wait until next month, or the next month, we'll be down to the wire.
Those of you who have started families in the last five or six years -- or opted not to, as the case may be -- how has The State Of The World affected your family planning?
UPDATE:
Apparently I made a poor word choice. I said "The State of the World" when I probably should've used the more direct but less artistic "pace of deployments." I didn't mean that Iran getting closer to having nukes is a reason not to bring a child into the world, but I think that's what came across.
I understand that in the military these days things won't always work out perfectly. But if it's my "right" to have a baby, isn't it my husband's right to get to have the baby too? I'm not upset that the mean ol' Bush administration might make him be gone or anything like that; I'm upset because he might miss out on the most important event of his life. I'm sad for him because I want us to do this together, not because I'm not strong enough to have a baby alone, but because it's our baby. I think he deserves to be there too, but it's hard to work in his presence.
I guess I wasn't clear enough in my post, but this is the question I was getting at. Most of you seem to have answered that you've gone ahead with family planning and tried to ignore the fact that deployments might get in the way. That's good, and very brave. But I struggle very much with this issue, moreso than other SpouseBUZZers, apparently.
Love Letters
February 13, 2007|
While passing my dresser this morning, I noticed a cassette tape labeled "love babble". The label has DH's mark on it, written in black ink, and there are several hearts scrolled on each side. The tape, is a souvenir from Desert Storm, when my DH was deployed with the 82nd, and also not yet DH. The tape is almost 17 years old.
I picked it up, remembering some of his words, and how sweet his voice was to hear.
I was then reminded of the stacks of love letters, stacks and stacks of hand written notes. Free mail written where a stamp should go.
Did you know?
February 12, 2007|
In this week's Military Report:
Murphy's Law for the MilSpouse
February 12, 2007|
Murphy's Law basically holds that if you give something a chance to go wrong, it generally will.
As military spouses, we know a special kind of Murphy's Law that applies to us and our relationship with our cell phones: You can carry your cell phone for days without it ringing, but forget it once and your loved one is sure to call.
Why does this happen to us?! Doesn't Murphy realize he's messing with communication-starved men and women?!
Heading back to the big "W.R."
February 11, 2007|
DH and I will be making a road trip back to Walter Reed in Washington, D.C. this week. As most of you know by now, DH was wounded in Iraq in 2005. We spent about 10 weeks at "Casa de Walter" and have been back and forth a number of times for follow-ups and surgeries. I haven't been back since January 2006, although DH has made a number of trips by himself in the last year.
DH will be having surgery # 34 (on Valentine's Day, no less!). It's outpatient and "minor" compared to his other surgeries, but it's another surgery all the same. It is starting to bring back memories that I have managed to put aside for a long time. One such memory may seem a bit strange, but it's just "one of those things."
"Stars and Stripes" Valentines
February 11, 2007|
Last year I sent a "Stars and Stripes" Valentine to my hubby while he was in Iraq with an unexpected result. My husband's grandfather had served in WWII and stayed in touch with many of his buddies for decades, often including his family in reunions. As it turns out, one of DH's grandfather's comrades also had a grandson who joined up and was serving in Iraq. He saw my Valentine, recognized DH's name, and got back in touch with my DH. Small world.
Although the deadline for the printed version has passed, you have until February 13, 8 a.m, EST to send your sweetie a Valentine in the online version of "Stars and Stripes." You may submit a message, up to 255 characters, and a photograph. Send your servicemember a virtual love note today!
Freedom Team Salute
February 11, 2007|
Air Force Wife's post about the Love Me Collection reminded me of one of the nicest awards I've received, the Freedom Team Salute.
Comment Woes
February 10, 2007|
Some of you are having trouble posting comments. We haven't banned anyone from commenting, this must be a temporary technical glitch. We'll try to sort it out and hopefully you'll be able to post again soon. Sorry for the inconvenience.
The Start of my Love Me Collection
February 10, 2007|
My husband doesn't just have a "Love Me" wall, he has a whole "Love Me" office, and "Love Me" space at our house besides. And, of course, in his line of work a Love Me area would just not be complete without a blank "Top Secret" award plaque or five. Yes, I thought it was funny. ONCE.
However, although I've always been a very active and participatory military spouse; my walls remained bare of self adoratory congratulations. Lots of eclectic, unique, and tasteful decoration, but little self-love. Military spouse thanks tend to be more of the "huge smiles when we bring our cookies in" type, and quite frankly, that's fine with me. I know when I'm loved.
My walls remained bare, that is, until last year.
Household Baggage Discussion Thread
February 9, 2007|
For those of you participating in the SpouseBUZZ Book Club, today is discussion day for pages 1-104 of Household Baggage.
I thought that Household Baggage was easy to read because the chapters are made up of very short, funny essays. I found myself saying, "oh, yeah," laughing out loud and being comforted by the fact that although no two milspouses are alike, our lives, in many ways, are very much alike.
Random Acts of Loveliness
February 9, 2007|
Some of us have admitted and some of us have lamented that Valentine's Day isn't any big thing in our households. For most of us, if we don't do something romantic on Valentine's Day or have something romantic done for us, it might not be all that upsetting...after all, we do have someone special in our lives.
What if we started a SpouseBuzz wave of kindness? A Pay-it-forward Buzz-nanza, if you will.
Jobs
February 9, 2007|
Looking for employment? Click here to see if a career fair is coming to a town near you. These fairs are for spouses, veterans, retirees, Guard/reservists and transitioning service members.
Making History, Sharing History
February 8, 2007|
After years of being professional military renters, my husband and I were thrilled when we purchased our first home. I love to redecorate and renovate, so I set about painting every wall, changing the layout of our home, ripping out the flooring and replacing it.
I've always dreamed of purchasing a stately old home rich with character, and learning that the property was owned by some Civil War General, or that the home was used to hide slaves who were escaping to freedom or maybe someone who worked in the woman's suffrage movement owned the home. Probably won't happen, but wouldn't that be interesting?
The Military Teen - or Why is Electric Shock Therapy Not a Legal Childrearing Method?
February 7, 2007|
I have a teenager. Whenever I say that, it is usually with a look of apologetic dismay and an utterly defeated shrug of my shoulders.
I knew I was getting old when I finally realize that I don't really like teenagers. As "California" as I am, with my accent and use of words like "totally" and over-excessive peppering of "like" in my sentences ("like" is "hooah" for Californians. It can mean nearly anything. Army Californians have this great "like, hooah!" thing going on), the speech patterns of teenagers still overload my mental circuitry.
There are good things about teenagers, though; responsible ones make valuable babysitters - we call my 14 year old our "House Elf." They are good for mowing lawns, too. And I have to admit, being a military teenager brings with it a whole different set of circumstances that our extended families and school counselors often aren't equipped or ready to deal with.
How do military spouses make friends?
February 6, 2007|
I want to know how you go about making friends!
We all move around rather frequently and many of us deal with numerous deployments and/or separations and sometimes this can lead to feeling pretty darn lonely.
I get numerous emails from newly married spouses asking how to make friends each time they move and how to 'fit into' the military community. What would your suggestions be and what works for you?
I Heart Civilians
February 5, 2007|
Some commenters have noted that civilians sometimes get a not entirely deserved bad rap around military families.
True, civilians do not always comprehend the challenges the military family faces, but many times they open their hearts to us with such generosity.
My daughter's baptism was one of those cases.
February "What's Your Story" Contest
February 5, 2007|
The topic for this month's contest was inspired by the first book we're reading as part of the new SpouseBUZZ Book Club, Household Baggage. Many of us have had at least one disastrous, zany PCS move during our "milspouse career." I wrote about my first move several months ago. Note to new milspouses: ask lots of questions before the move...
February's topic: "When PCS Moves Go Bad."
I look back on some of my "worst" PCS moves now, and laugh. Though they didn't seem funny at the time, they are hysterical now and contributed to the overall experience of being a military spouse. As airforcewife is fond of saying, "you have to laugh because if you don't, you're going to cry."
Submit an essay on the topic (900 words or less). We'll take submissions from now through February 19. If you don't want to participate in the contest, leave us a comment and tell us about your experiences with PCS moves. Every milspouse I know has at least one story that garners laughs - or gasps. What's yours?
You Don't Call This a JOB?
February 4, 2007|
You can read this entire article in the March/April 2007 issue of Military Spouse magazine!
I've never planned having children well. Actually, I never planned them at all. I even argued vociferously with the doctor on Goodfellow Air Force Base when he diagnosed the cramping I was having (and I was absolutely convinced I had uterine cancer) as daughter #3.
"I think," I sniffed, "I would know if I were pregnant."
Remote Control
February 3, 2007|
Last night DH and I rented the movie "Click". We had seen the previews, and had thought it was a comedy. It is not.
*Note to readers: Do not rent "Click" unless you want to cry.*
A quick summary for you all, without spoiling the movie.
In short, the movie is about a man who is given the power to fast forward, rewind and pause through his life. Without giving too much away here, I will tell you he uses fast forward often.
Working from Home
February 2, 2007|
Andi's great post about finding your cheese reminded me about a post I had in draft format for a while.
When my husband joined the military, I left teaching and became a writer. Freelancing has given me the freedom to spend more time volunteering and pursuing other interests and now it gives me the flexibility to be my daughter's primary caretaker all day.
On bulletin boards, blog comments, and face-to-face chats, one of the concerns I hear over and over again from spouses is how to keep up a fulfilling career with an active duty spouse.
The frequent PCS moves, the lack of a geographically present parenting partner, and the learning curve each time you change markets or careers can all put a damper on the spouse's professional goals--but they do not have to.
NMFA Government and You E-News for January 31, 2007
February 2, 2007|
Topics in This Week's News Include:
1. Defense Appropriations Moving Forward
2. What Will the Call Home Act of 2006 Mean to You
3. DODEA Discontinuing Remote Home School Program