Civilian to Militarese - Chapter Two

Even my 65 year old auntie knows what  a REMF is. 

However, when my fourteen year old recently got in trouble with MySpace and I was discussing the issue with my auntie, she had no idea what I meant when I said, "Hubby and I are planning her 'Come to Jesus' talk tonight."

Apparently, I learned later from other family members, she thought we were going to take her to a revivalist tent meeting.

I let that one slide, I figured that it would just perplex her even more when I tried to explain that a "Come to Jesus" talk actually had nothing to do with Jesus Christ and could be delivered by a person of any religion or even an avowed atheist.

But it reminded me that in addition to the frequent creating of common words out of acronyms, and verbing, and verbing of acronyms; we should also include several helpful and handy phrases in our planned English to Militarese dictionary. 

"Come to Jesus" should, of course, be defined as, "You are in WAY big trouble.  Repent now or you will forever be damned."

I would also highly recommend including "Chairborne Ranger".  Probably near the top.  We had quite an experience with this phrase, too, after a civilian friend of mine asked me what my husband did.  I was in a joking mood, and hubby was currently in a school, so I told her he was a Chairborne Ranger.  She said, "Oh wow!  That is SO COOL!"

After a bit of shocked silence, I explained to her the difference between what she perceived a Chairborne Ranger to be, and what it really was.  To commemorate the occasion after I updated hubby about what had happened, I managed to find a patch to give him that showed a Microsoft symbol and said, "PowerPoint Ranger - 1000+ Hours"

As far as wonderful and ubiquitous phrases go, I also love "Forward Engaged."  As in, "That commander is so Forward Engaged that when you move the mouse, he actually clicks it for you."  Yes, yes - the term really means "micro-manager".  And there is nothing wrong with the actual term micro-manager.  I have adopted the use of Forward Engaged, myself, though; much like I brought home the use of "y'all" from our stint in Texas and "like"and "totally" from a lifetime of being Californian.

These colloquialisms would just be the start of the phrase portion of the English to Militarese dictionary, of course.  I'm sure with just a little effort, we can come up with a few hundred pages worth! 

Comments

[Sarah]

My husband is fond of calling me his Combat Multiplier :)

[LAW]

told someone we had a ring knocker from Canu U in the family, and we weren't ashamed of it at all... She looked absolutely perplexed!

oh, the come to jesus... that one always makes the civilians wonder. And I actually HAVE a Chairborne Ranger pin on my hat. Makes people laugh when they figure it out!!

Hey, how do you actually explain Hooah... that's a tough one!

[airforcewife]

Hooah can mean anything - which makes it nearly unexplainable.

It can be yes, no, maybe, what?, Lets Go!, *rousing cheer*, You're KIDDING me!, ad infinitum.

I've actually heard my husband and brother have entire conversations consisting of "hooah" with various inflections.

The worst part was when I understood what they were saying. I had to go take a peach scented bubble bath and eat French cuisine.

[Sis B]

I had to Google REMF. :) Now I'm in league with your auntie.

[freelancer]

Hi, everyone. I am a writer for Military Spouse magazine (and a military spouse) who has connected with numerous military spouses via Spousebuzz for different stories that I have written (the difficulties of combining a milspouse lifestyle with a career; homestaging etc). I am currently writing a story about the pros and cons of MySpace for military kids. Though I have posted requests for interviews on dozens of sites, I have heard from only one parent/military child. My deadline is fast approaching and I would love to interview any or all of you who have kids with MySpace accounts. Airforce Wife, I particularly would like to talk to you since you and your teen recently had a "come to Jesus" talk on the subject. If you would be willing to be interviewed by phone, PLEASE contact me through my work email, which is canwrite4u@yahoo.com. At what age did you let your child have a MySPace account? How closely do you monitor what your child posts? What is your biggest concern regarding teens and MySpace? Has being on MySpace helped your teen to stay in touch with friends at former duty stations? Those are the questions I'd like to discuss. The interview should last only 10 to 15 minutes. Thanks. I hope to hear from you soon.

[Jennifer]

My favorite is when my hubby (an infantry squad leader and former drill sergeant) and I are out doing something, and I am not moving fast enough. He tells me to walk with a purpose. I could just smack him!

[dual military wife]

This is a great post. In my family since we are both military we quite often use military terms like "move with a purpose" and use terms in phrases like "you need to clean your AO"....it's awesome and i think people who overhear us think we are crazy lol. Oh, and I am a chairborne ranger, and as my husband likes to say "secretary".