Dear News Media: Shut Up. Just Shut Up
January 8, 2007|
I just got a call from one of my best friends. Her husband is one week away from leaving Iraq and coming home - one of the hardest times in deployment. It's that time when you pray for your "luck" to hold. The time in deployment that it all comes down to - the final countdown and the prayers that nothing will go wrong in the last few hours before our spouse leaves the danger zone.
She had just learned, from the news media, that there were casualties in her husband's unit.
Frantic calls to her husband's unit had yielded the necessary blanket black out information. "You'll know as soon as we do. We'll call you as soon as we know. Hold strong, we're doing everything we can."
We expect that response as much as we hate to hear it. We know that it's the truth - that we'll know as soon as they do. We understand the need to inform the families of the casualties first.
Too bad the media does not, also.
Oh the media waxes poetic about how they hold back in deference to families of the military. "We don't release names!" they self-righteously announce. "We wait to give up names and biographies until families are notified!"
That's not good enough. That's not nearly good enough. Military families are not stupid, whatever others may believe. When we hear the word "casualties" in connection with our spouse's area of operation or unit we can make the connection. We understand that someone we know has gotten injured or killed.
And then the death watch begins.
Rumors fly. People talk when they are not supposed to. And isn't that human nature? We're scared, dammit! TERRIFIED! It might be us! It might be our friend! Who is it? We know it is someone! It becomes a game of "Would You Rather..." Which is worse, knowing or waiting? My friend told me something I had experienced myself, "I'm afraid to even pray for him, because if it is not him, it's someone else's husband."
When we are waiting we can do nothing else. We understand that even if it is not our baby, our beloved, our life partner, even if it is someone else our spouse is hurting bad. And there's not a damn thing we can do about it except stew. And wait. And wonder.
I would like to ask those news reporters and those news bureaus who rush to get out all those identifying facts, with the names neatly covered by a tiny black bar that doesn't really hide anything, what have you gained? Has it helped your rush for readers and ratings to reduce this person and this family waiting at home to a hopeless quivering mound of jello? Has it made you feel on top of things? Do you think that your "right" to report the news has made you some kind of hero? Do you hide behind the phrase "We're only getting the information out"?
One of the lessons I learned in Catechism growing up - in those days when they still used the Baltimore Catechism Reader - was (paraphrased), "With great rights come great responsibilities."
You have the right to report what is going on. The American public needs to hear it. You have the responsibility to do so in a way that does not create further victims when it is within your control. You have the responsibility to see that behind those casualty statistics which you fling around with such wild abandon to prop up every argument on every side of the political spectrum, there are families. Families that hurt, families that hold on with every ounce of strength they have just to make it through today, tomorrow, this week; families that wait.
During my husband's first deployment to Iraq in 2003, there came a time when I hadn't heard from him in nearly a week. That day I happened to see Aaron Brown's news program on CNN. Mr. Brown chose to exhibit a photograph of an American soldier, dead in a Baghdad gutter. The story was about casualties that had been suffered that day.
My anger was white hot. I could not see straight. How DARE he? How dare he show this picture for ratings? How dare he flash this picture around so that the next morning someone would wake up to the chaplain on their doorstep and wail, "Oh my GOD! That was my beloved I saw dead on TV last night!" What if that person the chaplain visited was me? I didn't sleep at all that night, and was downstairs at 5:30 am, sick to my stomach that there would be a knock on the door at 6.
I even wrote Mr. Brown about the situation. His response to me? "With all due respect, I didn't think it was that bad."
Of course you didn't, sir. Because it is our family, our loved ones, and not yours. To you it is just a story. To us, it is our life.
What was that again about responsibilities? And is it any wonder that I, as a military spouse, quite often hate the media almost as much (if not quite nearly as much) as the terrorists my husband deploys to fight?
What will it take to make you listen, Media? Our spouses deploy to fight and risk their lives for the very freedoms you use to hurt us, those "rights" which you use to hurt us and we do not have. Freedom of speech is for you, Media, military members do not have that right - not until we separate.
So I ask for just a few days. Just for the time it takes to notify the families of those who have fallen; Media, can you please just shut up?
A big fat Army HOOAH to that!!!
Thank you for saying it out loud!!!
Posted by: Love My Tanker | 01/08/2007 at 12:29
AFW:
"I even wrote Mr. Brown about the situation. His response to me? "With all due respect, I didn't think it was that bad."
Of course you didn't, sir. Because it is our family, our loved ones, and not yours."
And of course it is not his family or loved ones. Aaron Brown, as most of the media types, is a member of the "elite" group whose families will never be a part of the military, or the police or firefighters, or any of those organizations where people put their lives on the line for US.
Your pain is of no import to them, unless they can show you experiencing it live on camera.
Posted by: Siddhartha Vicious | 01/08/2007 at 12:32
AMEN!
Posted by: Andi | 01/08/2007 at 12:41
Excellent post AFW
Posted by: Biermann | 01/08/2007 at 13:37
Of course we all know that the very thing our familys are fighting for have died for Freedom of speech would be their iresponsible reason,
I have been on this end I had the unfortunate experience of interviwing for local media, they neautered me, And chopped the interview to make my one political statement witch was about the new Defense Secratary, My comment was I'll wait and see he just got the Job...
Well they cut the question and put in the WHOLE IRAQ WAR!!!!!!!!! Despite the fact that I told them I dont trust you.... SO yes i agree in so many ways cant they just SHUT UP???
Can we sue for mental stress?? just a thought insane as it is??? class action anyone???
Posted by: Deirdre | 01/08/2007 at 14:09
Great post! I get so disgusted at the way the media constantly hurts and degrades our military and twists what it is that they do.
Posted by: Jim C | 01/08/2007 at 15:06
I despise the media. Around here they camp outside the gate and try to interview drivers as they come & go. Or they sit in the parking lots in the little town right outside and ambush people as we try to do business. Awhile back the local paper sent an email to all the online subscribers asking families for a response to a rumor about a unit that was deployed. Basically they were doing a story on troop movement BEFORE it even happened. They got an earful from tons of people basically telling them to take a flying leap and that they were violating OPSEC. They saw it another way and ran the story anyway, complete with current location, rumored location to be, and estimated travel time periods. The attitude is if it bleeds it leads and that's sad. They may have the right to freedom of the press but they don't have the right to incite panic and fear. Whatever happened to integrity, morals and ethics?
Posted by: k | 01/08/2007 at 15:13
I learned a while ago that you have to be very careful when talking with the press about anything. If you must talk with them or want to for some odd reason, plan ahead what you want to say so it comes out right and always insist on quote verification.
Posted by: Molly Pitcher | 01/08/2007 at 15:33
Amen, airforcewife. What's it gonna take to slap some manners and empathy into these people?
Posted by: evariste | 01/08/2007 at 16:21
Well said, airforcewife!! I too have been in this situation & I would not wish it on anyone! A little empathy from the media would be nice!
Posted by: Smart Blonde | 01/08/2007 at 19:41
"""I even wrote Mr. Brown about the situation. His response to me? "With all due respect, I didn't think it was that bad."
Of course you didn't, sir. Because it is our family, our loved ones, and not yours."
And of course it is not his family or loved ones. Aaron Brown, as most of the media types, is a member of the "elite" group whose families will never be a part of the military, or the police or firefighters, or any of those organizations where people put their lives on the line for US.
Your pain is of no import to them, unless they can show you experiencing it live on camera."""
Very well stated, both of you. No, he is not one that will have familiy in or be endangered himself...but isn't it nice for him that our family members take their freedoms into consideration as they fight for them...and this guy can't give those that are there and their families any consideration at all. Nice.
Posted by: CCatGGirl | 01/08/2007 at 19:58
What I would LIKE to see happen, is that EVERY 'journalist' or 'reporter' be expected to imagine that for EVERY story they 'report' on (plse note the quotes!) they put a member of their own family in the piece. Instead of a nameless troop - for instance - imagine it is their husband/wife/son/daughter etc lying in the street or wherever. IF they were to do that every single time, I KNOW the media would behave very differently. Okay so that my dream world.
HOWEVER! I have a suggestion. We all know that $$ is what the msm is all about. How about starting a campaign to hit every single one of them in the pocketbook? It has been done before with other companies. IF the CEO of every msm organisation was to hear/see/feel an impact from Americans who are not prepared to take their way of doing business anymore, I am SURE they would have to rethink their MO. So - how to do that? Get as many people as you can to write the CEO's personally, and ALSO write to each of those group's major advertisers and tell them you will no longer buy their products. Then quit buying their stuff AND turn off the channels that continue to show disrespect for our troops.
I think the msm has had a free run while messing with the soldiers and the safety of them all. Time to yell LOUDLY where it counts. America is YOUR country. YOU have rights - even more than the msm in my humble opinion. The time for these media to run roughshod over the military and their families is long past. Time to say NO MORE.. Who is with me on this one?
Posted by: brat | 01/08/2007 at 20:48
If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend watching the online program "Ethics in America", especially segment #6 called "Under Orders, Under Fire (Part I)." Peter Jennings and Mike Wallace actually say that they wouldn't warn Americans if they knew of a military plot against the US. It's an eye-opener. And the military response on the panel is priceless.
Link: http://www.learner.org/resources/series81.html
Posted by: Sarah | 01/08/2007 at 21:29
Very well said. We don't watch the news here. I just can't. I either get seethingly angry or horribly sad. Neither of which is worth it.
Posted by: HomefrontSix | 01/08/2007 at 22:57
Excellent post. I remember reading DadManley's post "Grief and Anger" last year on the same topic. They just don't know when to Shut Up, and yet it is obvious to anyone who cares for an actual person in uniform.
Posted by: Barb | 01/09/2007 at 01:03
We have been extremely fortunate in this area, since our troops are National Guard, the local news people have been excrutiatingly careful. If they report on a fatality or injuries, they only report what the Guard themselves post on their site and DOD posts on their site, and at that same time. None of the "vulture" culture here, and we are all very grateful for it.
LAW
Posted by: LAW | 01/09/2007 at 06:34
It's annoying the way military deaths are this Jackpot for the newsfolks. The words "one soldier killed in Baghdad" cause hundreds of military spouses' stomachs to drop. But the words "woman killed in car accident in St. Louis" would bring to mind many people I know and care about. If our media announced every car accident casualty in the USA, we'd be paranoid about cars instead of RPGs.
Posted by: Sarah | 01/09/2007 at 07:56
Amen - and let us all keep in mind that they are no longer 'journalists' - they have devolved into "info-tainers," gossip mongers and sensationalizers!
Posted by: Melanie | 01/09/2007 at 08:38
Very well written.
Posted by: Susan | 01/09/2007 at 09:48
My husband is currently serving in Fallujah, Iraq. This is his first and hopefully his only tour. We just got married September 2006. So I am still pretty new to things and am very glad that there are other spouses that I can learn from and possibly relate to. i had no idea about how the media portrays things that are not really happening that way or how they are so insensitive about military families and their rights. Now, having read your blog, I can shield myself from their cruelty and not allow myself to fall into their lies and insensitivity. And some people say that we are supposed to trust the media findings...but then again...they weren't military wives with deployed husbands! Thanks for the heads up and really speaking out on behalf of all military wives in waiting! You rock...HOOAH!
Posted by: hiswifeROUNDY | 01/09/2007 at 11:30
No one could have said it better than you all have so far. My father is retired Army, my stepmother and other family members are currently in the army and my fiance is in the Marine Corps. I am not a "spouse" yet but soon will be and I am very proud of my future husband and the service he will provide for his country.
I used to watch the news on a regular basis and it always made me sick to see the images that they show. I have seen the ones with deceased US soldiers laying in the background while reporters talk about the mounting casualties of the war, and then switch to some random story just as easily as if they had been talking about the weather. The reporters and journalists don't realize that those people of whom they speak are someone's father, mother, brother, wife, sister, husband etc. and that with every word they say there is some girlfriend, wife, fiancee or other significant other whose heart sinks further and further.
"We wait to give up names and biographies until families are notified!"That's not good enough. That's not nearly good enough." Airforcewife had it right when she said that that wasn't nearly enough. She is right, military families are not stupid. That little information the news does give out does more damage and causes more heartache and worry than any of the journalists or reporters could probably ever imagine. I was not aware that news media actually camps out near bases to interview people as they exit...they do not do that where my stepmother is currently stationed. However, I am thankful for the heads up and will be on the lookout when my fiance and I do get married and move onto a base.
Posted by: Erin | 01/09/2007 at 14:34
Despite what is considered basic humane treatment for the member, family and friends, they will never come first with the media execs until we boycott their money making machines and the companies whose commercials show during their programs by letting those same companies know WHY you are boycotting their products! It all comes down to money, not journalism that is actually packaged up as someones hyped up opinions.
Posted by: Lemon Stand | 01/09/2007 at 18:10
All, First let me disclose the fact that I am a journalist, currently working for the St. Pete TImes newspaper in Florida. Second, let me disclose that I am also an Army wife.
I won't defend every journalist out there. I will say this, though - most of us truly believe that our reporting can affect change where change is needed. We hope that by telling the stories - all the stories, good or bad - that are out there, we can educate people and have a positive influence on what happens in the world.
Believe me, it's no fun to interview someone whose loved one has just died, or is in danger of dying, not matter what the circumstances.
I just ask you to please remember that most journalists are compassionate, caring people who mean well. Like anything else, there will always be a few bad apples.
And also remember these: What better tribute is there to our men and women in uniform than to support the First Amendment?
Read my blog at blogs.tampabay.com/standingby for my diary of life at home while my husband is deployed.
Thanks for listening.
Jan
Posted by: Jan Wesner | 01/09/2007 at 21:58
Late July 2005, word came fast and hard - the elements of the 48th Brigade GA Guard hit hard - four dead south of Baghdad - my son was in that area; frantic as you might imagine, I make calls and wait; finally, not him - thank goodness; week later, another four, same area and it is same all over again; finally word comes - not him - thank goodness; week later, another three and again, we wait, and again, thank goodness not him. A week later, three die in his area vehicle roll-over into a canal, but again, not him; next day another one dies early morning hours by an IED on a lonely road near Yusufiyah - his area; this time, the "middle of the night" caught everyone asleep; at 7:00 a.m. the visit came - it was him, SGT Mike Stokely, KIA 16 Aug 05. We were fortunate, we knew before most others did, including the media, for the place of his death was not on the media path that night. It is a treacherous, wrenching experience, to say the least to know the "impact" is in your loved one's area, and have just enough info to be frantic, and no way to get more to confirm or deny during the ensuing "eternal" hours.
proud dad SGT Mike Stokely
KIA 8/16/05 neary Yusufiyah
US Army E TRP 108 CAV 48 BDE
Posted by: robert stokely | 01/09/2007 at 22:15
hi,
if they care so much they need to talk out loud the sorry media and let the world know how much a soldier gets every 2 weeks for risking is life for those sorry bastards .
i bet my ass that mr.brown makes at least 5 times more money then my Hubbt who is E5 but hold up that wont bring ant ratings
my bad - i forgot they just say they care !!!
Posted by: tanja | 01/10/2007 at 00:29
I am an Air Force wife of 12 years, and have been a newspaper journalist for 10. My DH is currently deployed "over there."
When the news makes me nervous, I just flip to one of the 200 or so non-news channels on my TV, or read the newspaper's Food section instead of the front page.
Maybe it's my profession, or maybe just my personality, but I don't think the news should change its coverage because it might upset ME. The world is not all about me, I learned when I was about 3.
Besides, TV news gives us viewers exactly what we want. We've been trained to salivate every time we hear "Breaking News," eager to be among the first to hear what happened. Preferably it'll be something huge and horrible, so long as it doesn't affect us personally. If it's really big news, we will call/text/email everyone we know, secretly smug that they're hearing it from us first.
I don't pretend to exempt myself from this behavior, and I don't have a solution. Maybe we should all turn off Fox, CNN, and the local news, and just watch PBS, which is so boring that we'll all fall asleep early and the world will be that much less cranky a place tomorrow! :)
Posted by: AmericanWoman | 01/10/2007 at 01:32
I don't think the original intent of the media complaints had to do with the general media. The problem occurs when the media, in its attempt to be FIRST, gives just enough specific information about deaths in Iraq that the families of that unit are put through hell. I don't think any of us would want the media to stop covering the war, however, when concerning the deaths or injuries of military members they should be much more cautious in how they report it. Nobody wants to learn from the news that their loved one or friend was killed, or even that someone in that unit was. Wait until the families are notified, and then announce the death, the name, and the biography. If the media would wait on this specific issue until they had the actual information, and until the proper measures were taken, I believe that most of the complaints would be solved. It really is just this specific issue that hits home so hard, the other ones, while important, are somewhat avoidable.
Posted by: navywifemeg | 01/10/2007 at 02:45
Very good post! And excellent comments by all.
I wonder if the media has always been like this? I don't think so; but then, I wasn't really around 3-4 decades ago to really tell.
Posted by: wordsmith | 01/10/2007 at 03:10
Since the media often receives the word FROM DoD, should it be there that the delay is placed? Should DoD wait until the notifications are done, then do the release? Yes, many media outlets are trying to "get a scoop" and don't give enough thought to what they are doing to the families. they equate it to reporting on accidents on the highway (which is another topic for another day) Since none of the reporters in our demographic area have anyone in the Sand, they really don't understand the waiting, heartsinking, "oh-please-don't-let-it-be-mine" reaction you and I are accustomed to, and have to fight everytime we hear about an injury/incident (whatever they are calling it now) The media are not solely at fault, but do seem to be completely unfeeling from our perspective. They are focused on doing what they consider their job. All sides of the spectrum, the left and the right, are guilty of this behaviour, but I don't think they are malicious, and are often unthinking! They don't hate us, they don't hate the military, they just don't think at times.
Posted by: LAW | 01/10/2007 at 05:29
Or maybe DOD should work harder to notify the families faster? Why should it sometimes take days to get that done? Maybe there is a reason, but I don't know it.
I agree with American Woman. Just turn the news off. I don't watch any of it. I don't even know which channel is CNN on my TV.
In the newspaper, I read the local section and the comics only.
Read me at: blogs.tampabay.com/standingby
Posted by: Jan Wesner | 01/10/2007 at 06:20
All these comments are great, and it's an interesting discussion.
I, too, started out in journalism - working as a staff writer. And I think the point about the DoD not releasing deaths to the media as quickly is a valid one. However, from my own experiences on both ends of the spectrum, the rush to get a story is great. The DoD had not released any death statistics about the dead soldier that Aaron Brown chose to showcase on his program. That picture was shown in near real time. And it is not all that unusual for the news coming out of theater to have information about "unconfirmed" fatalities. The DoD hadn't given this information, it was obtained through sources.
As for avoiding the news... I'd love to at times. But I can't stop everyone I know who watches the news and then calls to find out if I've "heard anything". They're scared, too, and worried.
It's a bad situation all around and one that requires difficult choices. The tendency of the news media to forget that there are faces behind the numbers they report is undeniable. It doesn't make them (all)evil - it makes them completely emotionally removed from the situation they are reporting on. The vaunted "unbiased reporting" argument aside - being emotionally removed is not always a good thing. Especially when it involves dealing in tragedy.
Posted by: airforcewife | 01/10/2007 at 07:59
In response to Jan regarding the length of time it sometimes takes to notify "next of kin"... Speaking from my experience as an Air Force spouse, it is the responsibility of the active duty member to make sure his "next of kin" paperwork is filled out properly with the correct names and addresses of those he would like contacted in case the unthinkable happens. When the paperwork has outdated contact information, it makes notification that much harder and therefore more time consuming which translates into a delay in notiying the next of kin.
Posted by: JJ | 01/10/2007 at 09:47
JJ, I know exactly what you mean also having been involved in several unit family readiness groups. I don't think anyone can stress how important it is for the papework to be up to date, and also to always let someone know if you go out of town or if your contact info changes while your spouse is deployed.
Maybe if we could improve that and other parts of the contact system, it would speed up the information that gets to spouses and eliminate at least some of that "waiting and wondering" time.
Posted by: Jan Wesner | 01/10/2007 at 10:34
I was 3000 miles away from family and friends and pregnant with our first child as my husband flew helicopter missions in and out of Iraq. Everytime the news announced, "helicopter crash", I know my heart stopped. It was painful to wait those may hours, and sometimes days, before hearing that it wasn't his squadron. We were lucky, he made it home just in time to see our daughter born. I pray that he will never go back, but you never can be sure.
I have learned to change the channel. If I don't like the way they cover the war, I just don't watch the program. I can appreciate Freedom of Speech, as my husband always tells me, "I fight every day to give them the freedom to say it" and I know he's right.
Posted by: Carol | 01/10/2007 at 11:45
I hae to say that is a great post. We here lost a man 3 days before redepoying 5 months back and it was Horrible. everyone thought we are almost done they made it this far they are finally coming home and then BAM it hit us an dhit us all hard. we had pres calling us and then coming ot us at the hangar asking us about that when we were trying to welcome home our men who just witnessed something horrible days prior.. it took all my husband had to turn his back on the reporter without lashing out at him. The do not show respect for anyone. as long as their ratings go up they do not care. That is their main goal no matter who or how they trample others in their wake.
Posted by: Kel | 01/10/2007 at 15:21
Hear this If it bleeds IT leads. WE are not familys or wives or Mothers or Sisters to the Big Bad old mean Media WE are ratings, we are heart string jerk stories to fill the 2 minute time slot between commercials about viagra and Burger King THEY HAVE NO ETHICS, and some would argue no hearts. Yes I sound angry. And you know bloddy what I am entitled to my anger. Think it makes me a American eh?
And i should not have to turn it off, I like to be informed I like to know if a local kid has been kidnapped or if my neighbor is a murderer, I dont want to see a Soldier shot thru the neck (CNN), It could have been MINE, Who said with great freedom comes great responsiblity?? The media has abused *us* and many others over and over and I for one feel small and to unimportant to matter to them, whats the answer? There is none, as my Dear Hubby says to me SUCK IT UP, Move on Girlie! Cant change the world but demmitt we can have opinons! And a voice...
Posted by: Deirdre | 01/10/2007 at 19:27
I came across your blog through a link on MediaLies and I cannot tell you how deeply this post and comments affect me. I am not in the military and do not have a loved one in the military. But, I am appalled and incensed daily by the dishonesty and insensitivity I see and hear in the media every day. Even more disturbing (and disheartening) is what I see and hear from everyday people who make the mistake of getting their information from those media people. The steady drumbeat of negativity and anti-Bush sentiment is slowly but surely having its way. And, for those of us trying to make a difference the task is becoming increasingly difficult. I see this as not only disastrous for the country on a geopolitical level, but more importantly, deadly for our troops. Please, don't stop your efforts to be heard. Yes Deirdre, "Suck it up", as your husband says, ... and then move forward and make your voice heard any way you can.
So many people simply don't know what is really going on behind the scenes, and if they did, I think you would be deeply touched by how many would not only understand but take up your cause. There are many, many, .... many of us who shed real tears when we know of another loss, see another home in our neighborhood with a flag on their mailbox or sign in their window, and read of another young man or woman lost. I have two teenage sons who may one day be in the armed services. As terrified as I am of the possibility that they may end up in a war that is being made worse by the continual stupidity and shortsightedness of our media, I couldn't be more proud of them.
Please, don't give in to the feeling that you can't make a difference. Be loud, link to every blog you can find out there. People will listen and pay attention. The media listen to Ratings and Money. It has been done before, as one of your readers pointed out earlier. It certainly can and will be done again.
Thanks so much for having this blog.
Posted by: rhamning | 01/12/2007 at 09:07
Excellent post! I have started a new addition to my Blog and suggest that others do the same.
It is called Friday's Good News.
Every Friday I will post a good news peice that the MSM does not think is important enough to air.
Feel free to use my thoughts or post your own... But, let's get the good news circulating the web.
Posted by: CavMom | 01/12/2007 at 09:33
Well, I have one where it wasn't the media's fault, it was the good old US Army. We found out our Guard unit was being extended from the media, because the army didn't see fit to tell our command or anyone else that they were being extended until after it was announced. NO fault of the media, they reported the story given. the Pentagon, with all their great feeling for the troops, told the media and everyone else, before they told the Adjutant General of the STate, the Governor or more importantly, the troops. The Troops found out from their families!!!!! so don't get all high and mighty about the nasty media. I'm sorry that the media in your area is un professional, and yes it hurts when we see the images of war. But the greater american public doesn't know the true cost of war, and before they vote, they need to. It's not all hearts and flowers, returning soldiers getting off buses to their families, it's wounded, it's horrible and it's dead men and women. YES they need to wait, but when the information is given to them BY THE ARMY, let's put the blame where it should lie, with the person GIVING IT OUT.
LAW
Posted by: LAW | 01/12/2007 at 15:57
I am the wife that AFW was talking about and I have read everyones comments. I have gotten good at thinking about things from many peoples point a view. I don't watch the news because I don't use my tv and I read the newpaper but not indepth and I do look at the news on the internet but not indepth. But what caught my attention was my husbands shop name and number. You know when you see something out the corner of your eye. You aren't looking but something caught your eye. That was what happen to me that day. Most of us try to protect ourselfs from really getting too indepth of the stories of the war because it gets to be too much after while, especially when our husbands or wifes are there. My opinion on the situation is to not release any information until the families have been contacted. I am not part of the American world who wants to know the events of the day as fast as it can be put out there. I do want to hear the stories and the true facts of each one. I understand the news is a business, they need to rethink their rules on this subject. Thank you for listening.
Posted by: eodwife77 | 01/15/2007 at 10:35
If I want news, I go to the Department of Defense press releases. I have given up on the three major networks entirely; they want to point out our failures. I try to be open-minded and analyze what I'm hearing because much of the information released by the Dept. of Defense is twisted by the media.
Posted by: kay | 01/19/2007 at 03:52
Bravo!
Though my husband wasn't killed, he was critically wounded only 2 days before his unit was returning home. My son and I had just hung the banners, set out all the flags, and insured perfection -- a perfection he never saw.
My husband ended up at Brooke Army Medical Center for 2 years and 9 months of recovery and rehabilitation. I left everything and everyone back at Fort Hood. It took the Army SIX days to notify me of his injuries. My husband, while doped up, was handed a satellite phone in Baghdad to call and tell me when they got the blood gushing from his legs to stop within hours of his injuries. By the time the Army called me, the media was already reporting it and my husband was in his 4th surgery -- when they were saying his first!!!
I do know that this "casualty" experience can never compare to those who lost their loved ones -- and I am in no way comparing our situation in that way -- I am only sharing because it sickens me that the media was out pushing the news before the Army even contacted me. I could go on and on about the Army dropping the ball entirely since no one came to my house from the unit (I lived on post!!!) and no one doing squat for me, but then I would sound bitter. The point was that the media should NEVER be able to report before we are notified. There were many sleepless nights and when your husband is in a unit at the start of the war where phone calls were few and far between, you didn't have any of this "I talk to him everyday" or "weekly" because they were on a mission, phones were hard to come by, and the internet was rarely up and running. It is hard and the media should respect that. Simple as that.
Posted by: Melanie | 01/31/2007 at 04:27
It's so good to see some one else out there who feels the wa I do. My fiance is currently stationed in Baghdad and every time I pass a T.V. and hear about wounded or dead soldiers in Baghdag my heart falls into my stomach and I hold my breath to see if it was his unit, or in the area he is currently in. So far he has been safe but that doesn't mean it will continue. I absolutely refuse to watch the news now, I haven't had my TV on in weeks, because it's all completely ridiculous. I just wait to hear the news from my fiance, or I will save the paper until after I have talked to him to avoid that feeling. I am one of the lucky ones, I get to talk to my fiance almost every day because he goes back to the camp every day, and I know some of you dont hear from your loved ones for days or weeks at a time. I cannot imagine what that is like, the longest I have ever gone was 5 days and I was a nervous wreck, so ladies my hat is off to you all, those of you who have dealt with multiple deployments and weeks of non communication, you are stronger than I might have been...but then, maybe not because in the end the only choice you have is to get through it. Day by day, week by week until they're back.
Posted by: Jacintha | 01/31/2007 at 04:38
Amen. The news media (any channel or station) do not give a darn about how or what they report. All they care about is the fact that they report the news, and not how it is delivered. They don't even think about the families and loved ones of our fallen soliders or Marines. You would think that they would shows more RESPECT then what they do. But then maybe they don't even know what that word means, respect that is. I have had 3 family members (Army, Navy and Marines) over there in Iraq. Our son-in-law is now on his 2nd tour. Our son is suppose to go back this summer. When will this end? We have to stay strong for our men and women. When I have had family over seas I try my darnest to avoid any and all news regarding the war, I change the channels or shut the T.V. off. Make your voices be heard, be loud. Don't give up on letting the media know how you feel. Then and maybe then they will change on how they deliver the news.
Last, DO NOT ever forget about the brave people who are serving our country. Find a way to show them and their families support. Get ahold of a support group and get names and addresses to mail them a card or care package. We would not have the freedom that we have if it wasn't for these fine soliders and Marines. We Support Our Troops. Semper Fi.
Proud Marine Mom.
Connie
Posted by: Connie | 01/31/2007 at 05:20
I am the wife of an 11 year USAF vet...VietNam 2 tours.
I remember the nightly news back then...much more graphic and revealing than the media provides now. There were nightly 'body counts' and scenes from 'in country' that would curl your hair.It was terrifying. I understand the emotional horror experienced by those waiting for news of those we love.
That being said, I think that the media should be thorough, respectful and factual in their reporting of the day's events in any theatre of combat. I have no family member in Iraq or Afghanistan...and I have thousands. Having worn the shoes of a military spouse, I feel that all of these kids are my kids.
With the exception of our military families, NO ONE in this country is making any sacrifice at all while the death toll continues to rise. These kids, all of these 'casualties', are all UNKNOWN SOLDIERS. They are unknown to all but those who love them.
As a product of the sixties and all that went with that...including the deployment of loved ones, I still have to say that I am a believer in the Constitution and ALL the discomfort that may come with someone exercising the rights under that Constitution. That includes the freedom of the press. I also believe that the presentation of this 'news' could be modified to lessen the impact on those who wait.
I learned, many years ago, that part of being a military family was to be able to take whatever comes your way and not to expect any gratitude or extra compassion for your losses. It's a real 'grin and bear it' life choice and a pretty thankless one at that. There are many of us who understand and commend those who live the life.
I wish I had some magic words that would make that feeling, in the pit of your stomach, go away...but the news will be daily, the fear will be ours until the kids come home.
God Bless you all.
Posted by: LadyBoru | 01/31/2007 at 07:02
Yet another thank you to you for putting what we all think and feel into words!! My husband will deploy very soon, he has been before but only for a couple of months as he joined his already deployed unit when he reported to his duty station. However, this time, it will be for a year and I certainly am NOT looking forward to the daily casualty count that the media insists on giving. Our loved ones are defending this country and the reporters very right to their freedom of the press and free speech, and because of that right that they so blatantly abuse, we waiting at home are put through horror nearly everyday hoping that it will not be our loved ones camp or unit that has taken the latest hit. COME ON PEOPLE!! have a little bit of compasion.
Posted by: proud wife | 01/31/2007 at 08:04
DEAR AIRFORCE WIFE:
KUDOS TO YOU - THE MEDIA DOESN'T THINK ABOUT THE IMPACT OF THE PICTURES THEY SHOW - MORE PEOPLE SHOULD SPEAK UP AS YOU DID!
MEDIA - TAKE A HINT AND "SHUT UP!"
Posted by: WANDA FOWLKES JOHNSON | 01/31/2007 at 08:13
I agree to shut up... When my husband was killed, I heard in on tv before they came to my door... my mother in law saw it on tv before they came to her door,,, it was a day later that I was notified, and I knew it was his plane that went down. Please let the families find out first.
Posted by: Bobbi | 01/31/2007 at 08:13
Hooah! Thank you for saying what so many of us are feeling! If more people would think about the wives, husbands, mothers and fathers waiting, worrying, grasping for any information . . . if more people would think maybe we wouldn't be waiting.
Thank you again.
Posted by: Gini | 01/31/2007 at 08:15
Good for you!! I would love to see this printed in the paper. I understand the guilt of hearing a specific unit sustained casualties or injuries and briefly thinking,"at least it wasn't my husband". Then as remarked, realizing it was someone else's.
Thank you for voicing what many of us are thinking!
Posted by: blondemom | 01/31/2007 at 08:17
hi i just wanted to say if some people would take and copy your letter and with the whole intierty and sent it to their news stations and their papers than maybe someone might think first in the local area before they let the info out i know how it is my bestfriend is suppose to leave anytime now and this is right after getting the news story that their where 27 killed in one weekend and i scares me for his safety i suggest people take and email their paper and stations this letter and maybe someone will have a heart.
Posted by: eva | 01/31/2007 at 08:18
way to go girl!!!! the media needs to have some respect for the families
Posted by: shelly | 01/31/2007 at 08:34
I am a Navy sister, whose only brother (who also happens to be my twin) has served in numerous tours "over there". I can honestly tell you that the news media goes overboard with their constant hype and drama. However, this is nothing new. Spend some time at the library on the microfilm machines and peruse the newspapers from the 19th century. Read about how the American Indians were "savages" who "brutally murdered" and "ravaged" OUR land. You won't read anything in there about how they were lied to by our government, abused, murdered, or tortured. That's the media's way of being biased. That's the way it's always been, so we just get used to it, or better yet, take up a role in the media to change its course.
Read the hype about the Titanic, the plane crashes, etc. It doesn't take long to reveal what we have known all along... that the media, no matter the medium, is all about getting the story and then glamourizing it to peak interest. You are right - we are not stupid. I get just as angry about the news, but I use my head and change the channel. In the event someone is at my doorstep or on the phone to deliver the news, it's going to reach me whether I've seen the news or not. So I choose to watch or listen or read something positive and not dwell on the "what if".
Posted by: NvvySisterAO1 | 01/31/2007 at 08:51
Amen!! I saw something on a local "news" broadcast the other morning that made me absolutely sick. Not only did they release the name of the SFC who had just been killed in Iraq and show a picture of him, they had the nerve to go to his neighborhood and interview people who knew him. And get this, in the dark of morning they were recording live in front of his house, waiting I'm sure, for his widow and/or children to emerge so they could pounce! As if that wasn't bad enough they zoomed in on the house number AND even the street sign! What an invasion of privacy...Fox News of course. Sheesh!
Posted by: cindy | 01/31/2007 at 09:09
Thank you for writing this! I agree that the media needs to be respectful! I am the wife of a sailor, who is deployed, don't know where of course, but for safety, and all those on board, is why and I understand that! God Bless all of our men & women serving this country and keep them all safe, praying for their safe return, until then...
Bless all of the families who has gone thru loss, a friend of mine did, the soldier was only 23yrs old, but served with pride!
Posted by: Debbie Taylor | 01/31/2007 at 09:40
from a mother who's son is deployed in iraq . thank you for saying how it feels to hear about casualties on tv .
this is the worse thing .it has my stomache in knots till i hear from my son that he is ok . my daughter and i stay up around the clock just waiting to hear from him or to found out which unit it was. then i feel so bad for the family who 's soldier it was . but guilty that i'm happy it wasn't me . i'm with you they should just shut up. i think they " report" too much anyway. if we hear what is going on . i'm sure there are people from iraq or elsewhere that shouldn't hearing what is happening but do cause of the media. but anyway thank you again and big kudos . a soldiers mom
Posted by: vicki | 01/31/2007 at 10:04
I am not a military spouse, but am a military mom. My daughter is currently serving in the USAF. She has not (yet) been deployed, but we know many who have. I no longer watch the news, but cannot avoid it all together and whenever I hear of deaths in Iraq I think of my friends who are over there and my heart drops. I do believe the media sensationalizes things to attract viewers. Just like rubbernecking at the scene of an accident, humans in general seem to revel in someone else's tragedy. It's sad, but true. I do believe a little restraint should be exercised by the media in matters of deaths of our soldiers.
Posted by: Debra Mason | 01/31/2007 at 10:05
im the son of a guardsman who was in gitmo and is now a civilian contractor. i've been scared reading the news but i try to not let it bother me. however, you are right in saying that the media shouldnt report casualties of any kind until families have been notified. i can only imagine the pain you must feel when you here someone has died in your loved one's unit. the media doesn't care about you or them, just ratings, and that will never change.
Posted by: G. B. | 01/31/2007 at 10:13
Thank you for voicing the concerns of ALL military families. My husband is now retired, but he was in Viet Nam, and the media was the same or worse. We, as wives did't have the internet and phone calls available back then.So it was very hard to get any information when casualties in your husbands unit were reported. The people in the media do not realize the horrific damage they do to the families of the military men and women they so easily report about.
Thanks again for speaking for all of us.
Posted by: Melody | 01/31/2007 at 10:25
I am non military, but have family who are serving. I shut off the tv on Sep. 11 right after the second building fell because I was so disgusted with the "anything for ratings" idea that is so prevelant in the media. I have not, nor will turn on the news again. My loved ones are in Gods hands, and I will not allow the media into my home again.
Posted by: Gene | 01/31/2007 at 10:40
I am an Army mom. My son is currently in Iraq and things are confidential so not much is communicated to us by our sons. Some of us moms exchange conversations we have with our sons and if they are in the same mission we ask if the others are OK. The one thing they ask us and is very common... "Mom, do not watch the news!! they only make things look worst and they never say the good that happens". While we try very hard to listen to our sons, it is impossible not to hear the media - they are all over the TV, radio, internet, etc.. They are like bugs you can not get rid-off..It is impossible not to listen, I dislike them. To them is who has the worst story, the worst pictures, the fastest so they can make it to the screen and have higher ratings.. Some of us (moms) can not have a full night sleep. We have nightmares, and if something happens to any soldier in the unit, is like it happened to our own sons. They are like brothers, so the pain does not stop with our own sons. Every one there has parents, and those casulties will never be replaced. Does the media care? No, they are waiting to catch the next casulty, no matter at what expense.
Posted by: BerdyGL | 01/31/2007 at 10:49
This is exactly how I feel. They're hiding behind the whole adage "people's right to be informed". Our troops and families do not deserve the kind of negativity we have been receiving of late. Even now, civilians are so poorly informed they feel we have a power to stop all the things going on when in actuality they are the ones who have the power to change things. And as the families left behind we must undergo a constant barrage of negative and exaggerated information, as well as dirty looks from civilians not connected to the military, who feel that just because we have someone over there we like what's going on. Right now my own husband is deployed and I can't turn on the news anymore for fear of seeing something more than I should be seeing. When will the media learn to practice discretion in deference to all of us who are left behind with our loved ones deployed? We experience days of worry enough without the news adding to the fears and anxiety we already have. There are 2.5 million servicemembers with families out there, if all of us wrote a letter that would be definitely be an impact. Maybe then they would realize just how harmful their reports truly are. Bravo to accurately laying out in type what so many of us feel in our hearts.
Posted by: Danielle Smith | 01/31/2007 at 10:56
I could not agree more. I am so tired of "freedom of speech" only going one way. We need to be able to scream at the top of our lungs about how we as military families are treated by the media. How horrific that it has come to the point that one thinks they are above it all. And how sad that the only way to make them "shut up" is to pass a law? Please media, get some self respect back for yourself. Mother of a son serving proudly to defend those rights.
Posted by: Robbie Hansen | 01/31/2007 at 10:58
Ya know heres my problem with the media and all these Anti-War protestors. The government spends billions a year to train our military and for what...? For our service members to sit on their butts all day and twiddle their thumbs. Now being an Army wife for 6 yrs I dont always agree with the stupid stuff they have my husband do and its not like I can complain to the COC, but I wish all of us "spouses" married or not could stand together and show these people how we feel about it. I was reading an article in the paper the other day about an Anti-War protest group that was on the front page and I was like I wonder how those damn people would feel if we were to tell it to them straight up how we felt as spouses. They would get a slap in the face. I'm sort of fed up with it all. We are living through those terrors and its a proud choice we made! Not them! So if any Anti-War protestor wants to see how it really is feel free to come down to Fort Hood and look me up. I'll gladly show you! And to AFW I'm right along with you , in telling them to shut up! It just makes you wish you could do it in person..lol.
Posted by: Crystal | 01/31/2007 at 11:13
As a military wife, let me first say that I hear you. I completely understand where you're coming from here. But, as a journalist, I also ask that you remember this -- as military family members we know the cost of war all too well. On the other hand, your average American citizen would have no real concept of the reality of war if not for the media. I think it's a good thing that the media tries to put a "face" on each service member who makes the ultimate sacrifice. One of the hardest things to do as a journalist is talk with grieving people, but it is also one of the most rewarding aspects of the job because it allows the reporter to give viewers or readers a window into that person's life. I have always been so honored to have the opportunity to "humanize" the tragedies we hear about everyday. Believe it or not, I think there have been times when I have been a comfort to a grieving family. And, I know when my family grieved over our own unexpected and tragic death, we were glad to see a story not only about our loved one's death, but also about his life printed in our local paper. Without such stories, the service men and women who die defending freedom would be nothing more than "casualties of war" to the American public. But, when we learn about this particular person's hopes and dreams, their family -- we begin to see them as individuals and it's only then that we, as a society, can realize their sacrifice and honor it.
Editors and reporters have to make tough decisions everyday. But, I can promise you that newsrooms in which I've had the honor of working, there was never any discussion about what would "sell." We just tried to do our very best to be accurate, objective and informative. So, I ask you all to consider the flip side of this -- consider a world where the media is prohibited from showing the cold, harsh reality of war and imagine a society that never sees fallen service members as individuals -- only as nameless, faceless soldiers. I would venture to say that society would be far more tolerant of a seemingly endless war than the American society we have today. And, that can only be a good thing for military families like ours. And, if you're interested in reading an award-winning piece of journalism that truly honors our service men and women, the sacrifices they make and the real cost of war, check out this link http://denver.rockymountainnews.com/news/finalSalute/
I think it should be required reading for every American.
Posted by: Krista | 01/31/2007 at 11:26
Thank you for that article. I found out about my husbands four month extension, four days before he was scheduled to come home, on CNN before the men over there even knew about it. Talk about panic. I don't even watch the news any more because all they focus on is the negative. Again thanks for the article.
Posted by: Liz | 01/31/2007 at 11:48
As opposed to focusing on all of the wonderful and positive things going on in Iraq right now?
You people are deluded. Understandably so, but that doesn't change facts.
The media is not here to be your babysitter and make sure at every turn that they don't step on your toes or offend your sensibilities. They will continue to do what they do regardless of your childish and immature demands for them to "just shut up!". You know this as well as I.
You state in your article that you could barely hold back your "white-hot" anger towards the news media when they showed a picture of a dead american soldier lying in a gutter in Iraq on CNN (how dare they?!?). Where is the outrage every time they show a dead Iraqi child or mother, which happens to be about 50 times more often than they show a dead American soldier? Where is your "white-hot" anger that they would dare to show such pictures just for ratings then?
Oh, you can't muster any?
Didn't think so.
Posted by: Christine | 01/31/2007 at 12:07
Wow! What a powerful article. It's great to hear someone tell the media to just shut up! I am a Navy wife and i know what it's like to wonder whether or not the one you love will be coming home. I sincerely wish all of you with husbands, wives, children, & friends serving in Iraq the very best and hope that our loved ones come home safely.
Posted by: Lillian Krupa | 01/31/2007 at 12:13
Good post. As always it is about money. Being first with the news is thier moto
Posted by: Bob | 01/31/2007 at 12:45
Your article was great,and it is so true. The media just doesn't seem to understand much of anything when it comes to compassion and understanding of the military famlies.I am mom of two sons in one Army, and one Marines its to bad they don't see what we see when it comes to their print. I have found most of it is half truths and mostly negitive so I have learned until anything is verified its a bunch of bullshit because the media is only after ratings.
Posted by: marilyn | 01/31/2007 at 12:50
Our society and the media has forgotten one important human right (respect). Respect our troops who proudly serve our country with there lifes. Respect their families because they also serve our country with their lifes. Respect our greatiest gift, our freedom, our freedom that gives us a blanket that allows us to believe our fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters privacy will be honored.
Posted by: Roy | 01/31/2007 at 13:17
VERY well said and thank you for speaking on our behalf. Often the only choices we have are to put up with it, or feel cut off from the world by not watching it at all. I am doing the latter while my husband currently completes his second deployment to Iraq. The fear in and of itself is overwhelming and the media always seems to make it worse. Thanks for speaking out.
Posted by: Tracy | 01/31/2007 at 13:36
I don't blame the media, I blame the military. The information could come out much sooner. My husband (a blackhawk pilot now serving in Iraq) is connected to the unit that lost a bird not long ago. It took more than 48 hours for the military to tell us our husbands were not dead. Come on ... that is ridiculously late. It's easy to blame the media ... but where do you think they get the information? They get it from the military. The military, as in many matters, takes too long to get stuff done.
Posted by: A Captain's Wife | 01/31/2007 at 14:27
To Airforcewife, If I were you, I'd send your thoughts & feelings to every news media org. there is, from the CEO's, to the anchors and even to all the peons in the mail rooms. I'd like to know who came up with the brilliant idea of having the media imbedded with our troops? Why in the heck should our brave men & women not only have to fight the terrorists but also have to cover the backsides of the media idiots who report all the negative about Iraq. Very rarely do you hear the good things our troops are actually accomplishing over there!
Posted by: txparrotlegal | 01/31/2007 at 14:41
To answer your question txparrotlegal ... the Pentagon came up with the "brilliant idea of having the media imbedded with our troops." They thought it would help win public support for the war.
Posted by: A Captain's Wife | 01/31/2007 at 14:45
The day the AF took hubby away is the day I had the cable disconnected. Once upon a time, I was a "breaking news junkie" - an Army brat growing up inside the Beltway, couldn't help it really. I am not on top of every little thing anymore, nor do I want to be. The kids don't miss the TV either. I make them read.
Posted by: And Brains Too | 01/31/2007 at 14:48
How strange! Just last week I finally became totally fed-up with the media and their big headlines about how many of our soldiers were killed that day, hour, minute and I told my husband, "There really ought to be a law against the media displaying this kind of news until the families have been notified." Then I run into this article. With a son and a daughter in the Army I am waiting for the dreaded news that they will be deployed, then what? How can we, the military families come together and stop this headlining grabbing media? God Bless and Protect Our Troops
Posted by: Diana Ramos | 01/31/2007 at 15:21
The media and their Secular Progressive bull has got to go ,,,These leftists need to be replaced by a more pro America media ,,,If they want to run their media here,and live here,they should back their military ,and down their enemies ,,,,not their own fighting men,and women who lay down thier lives for their country on a daily basis ,,,then torture the military families with anti american pics and propaganda ,,,,,JMO
Posted by: R McKenzie | 01/31/2007 at 15:21
Amen! This should be required reading for every journalist!
Posted by: Linda | 01/31/2007 at 15:45
This is something that needed to be said out loud long time ago! Thank you for this article. I do hope it will reach the media!
Posted by: S. Benitez | 01/31/2007 at 16:05
airforcewife
Very well put. If there were a way to get this to EVERY news station I'd love for it to happen. My DH rarely "laws down the law" to me, but when he made ready for his first deployment to Iraq he made it clear to me that he did not want me to watch any news broadcasts. Even when I did not watch though, friends and family would call me to inform me of what they had seen, read, or heard and want to question me about if DH had been involved or if I had heard from him since said event. What made it worse was that I had two cousins over there at the same time and many friends in more than one unit and/or location. There were instances that I knew because of the media that my DH or cousins or friends were in direct danger or could be worse, but had no way of contacting anyone to find out if he or my cousins or friends were doing okay or if they had been injured. Just a couple of examples; Two days before DH left to come home he was injured in a rocket attack at his location and I knew that an attack had taken place at his location by the media and ensuing barrage of phone calls before he could get to a location to let me know that he would still be home as planned. There were many hours of sickening fear while I waited by the phone and computer to hear from him or someone in his unit or our government. I was afraid to leave my house that I might miss a much-needed communication from someone that knew of his whereabouts and well being.
Because of the media, we back here knew that my DH sister unit had been involved in an attack elsewhere in Iraq before they did over there. I was shocked when I asked DH if they had any news of the sister units well being and he knew nothing about it but would get back to me as soon as he knew anything concrete. Again hours of agonizing waiting for some kind of REAL knowledge of what was happening over there. I understand the media has the “Right” to inform the public, but at what good and at what cost to whom? I’d love for some one to please make them stop and think about what they are and aren’t doing.
Posted by: luvmyff99 | 01/31/2007 at 16:38
I have a son that is in the Marine Corps and I am scared to death if and when he will be deployed to Iraq.
Posted by: Maxine | 01/31/2007 at 22:03
Good article. I agree that the media should respect the militray families.I understand that they have the right, but we don't. Yeah the family members are not in the military, but every word we say is twice as critical as someone else who isn't.
My husband is currently deployed, I can't even watch the news with out hearing something, whether it is his unit or not so I rarely do. And when I do the what if game is played:
What would I do if that happened to us?
What if that's him?
What if it's someone we know?
after the what if's I promise myself not to watch the news again. I do pretty good with it, because I don't really miss it. Besides the news is over-rated they are just as biased as if you or I were telling the story to a friend.
Posted by: PajKub Lee | 01/31/2007 at 22:04
I cannot agree with you more on your article! Good for you for responding to what we as military spouses have to endure from the media!
Posted by: Jennette Belmonte | 02/01/2007 at 12:32
President Bush leaves it to others to scapegoat the media. And, Karl Rove’s spin strategy is heavily reliant on surrogates. They’re likely to escalate blame-the-media efforts as this year goes on.
n effect, Bush is holding the coat of those who go after the news media on his behalf. Many pro-war voices constantly accuse the media of anti-war and anti-Bush biases—with the accusations routinely amplified in mass-media echo chambers. Cranking up the volume are powerhouse outlets like Fox News, the Wall Street Journal editorial page, The New York Post, The Washington Times, The Weekly Standard, legions of high-profile loyalist pundits, and literally hundreds of radio talk-show hosts across the country who have political outlooks similar to Rush Limbaugh’s.
With the current war less popular than ever, it’s never been more important for war backers to blame the media. With its war policies unraveling in Iraq—and in the domestic political arena of the United States—the administration may continue to avoid directly attacking the press. But, with winks and nods from the White House, some of the president’s boosters will be eager to blame news media for the administration's difficulties.
Posted by: V | 02/01/2007 at 16:19
Your letter is the finest written I've seen to date that addresses the media issue. Just this past Christmas, a friends daughter, the young mother of a newborn, got a call from a fellow troop members' wife that their husbands' unit had been compromised. That anguish for a 19 year old mother waiting 3 days to hear that it was NOT her husband killed, was a tragedy to watch. I'm the widow of a 20 year airman, I held my breath with every unrest situation; and as the mother of a son currently serving, I still do and could easily be the next media "victim". Your letter should be e-mailed, printed and posted worldwide!
Posted by: Carole Nichols | 02/01/2007 at 18:11
I'm an army wife of an 88m, that is a truck driver. He does line haul aka supplies, therefore he travels all over Iraq,I don't even get the satisfaction of a specific region for him. I learned on his last deployment ( my 1st to go thru ) not to watch, read, or listen to the news. I even told people to shut the hell up when they tried to talk to me about it. Everytime I turned around I heard of convoys being hit and soldiers being injured or lost. So I worried myself into a nervous breakdown. For my sanity and the ability to take care of my 3 small children here at home, on this current deployment, his 3rd, my 2nd, I don't care to even mention the word news. I love your article and you are right, but having read the comments, all of them, I have to agree with others, turn it off, don't listen, and if someone is trying to talk to you about it, ask them politely to not do so. I advised a new army wife of a man in this unit to not watch, read, or listen to the news. That is the best advice that any of us can give because reguardless of how much we complain, news will happen. My news comes from my husband and friends that I have there. I turst them, not the media.
Posted by: mrsrad1 | 02/01/2007 at 21:22
Ok, as many of us should know... they are called "BLACKOUTS" for reasons. That is so every soldier, etc. cannot tell their family about the death of a buddy, or service member before the family is notified. These of course can go on for days depending on the number of fatalities they have. With those you have to be patient. I have gone through 3 deployments and am anticipating a 4th, and I've mastered them quite well. After reading some of these posts, we all have good comments and points to make and we will always complain about the long going issue of the media. Now in some cases yes, the media does paint a pretty picture in honoring our military. But I have done an interview before and they take notes, which are then broken down and certain aspects of the conversation only are focused or commented on. That's the journalist job. We are stationed at Fort Hood, the largest US Army base and media is not allowed on post and must cover stories at the entrance. Only at certain times are the media allowed to cover events. But the point is... We (Military Spouses & Family Members) will always have different outlooks on things, and sometimes they can be changed and most cant. As for notifications...the Chain of Command has to make sure that the information is passed through PR (Public Relations) and is correct before they can tell anyone anything. My husband's unit lost 6 pilots while in his last tour and the only people who knew of anything were the Need to Know, and I read all about them in the paper. But look at the Media as a whole. It sometimes does more bad than good especially to the younger wives who have never gone through a deployment. I just wish we could all put our feelings together and make a point made clear. And also defend ourselves with Anti-War Protestors.
Posted by: Crystal | 02/03/2007 at 20:47
If we as responsible mothers would remember that we taught our children when they were young that hurting or inflicting pain on anyone else is not acceptable behavior before we signed for them to enlist as young adults none of us would be faced with what we are dealing with now. This is one military mom who has learned that lesson the hard way and reminds their returned soldier every day that the responsiblility for his acceptance of violence lies solely in the lies I fed to him wrapped up in a flag about killing being ok if it's done for "God and country." There are NO deferments or exception clauses in "Thou shalt not committ murder." and even if there were I would not have the authority to grant them and neither does the military!
Posted by: Alycia | 02/04/2007 at 07:55
It's about time that someone put this out there, I only wish that I would have done too. I completely agree that the media needs to SHUT UP and sit down. My husband is going to be leaving soon and I'm not too thrilled about having to deal with the media. I wish that there was something else that we as military spouses could do to make them rethink how they say things and what they say. The job as a military spouse can be so overwhelming and such a burden to carry, however the burden is also a blessing in disguise. We are married to some of the best men and women in the world because of who they are and what they do. God bless us all and watch over our soldiers by sending St. Michael our Archangel to stand by our soldiers sides sides.
Posted by: Jennifer | 02/05/2007 at 15:47
I am not a spouse of a soldier, nor am I even related to one. However, I can absolutely empathize with the writer's point. The sacrifice that these soldiers and their families make -- both in death and in life -- is enormous and greatly undervalued by a vast majority of the soundbyte-loving public. It's horrifying.
Embedded journalism has gone from well-intentioned supporters of our men & women in the armed forces, to sensationalism for ratings. Some of what they broadcast --including troop movements and commentary/spin -- is downright TREASONOUS. I say we close battlefields to the news media and take control of the PR battle. How can we win the hearts and minds of our enemy (NOT insurgents or any other ridiculous euphemism) if we can't focus on one singular message?
"Loose lips sink ships!"
Posted by: Di_2526 | 02/05/2007 at 18:25
As a wife of 20 years to a military man, a mother of a military son, and a daughter of a military father, I commend you in your comments. However, it is the journalist that brings attention to those who have no affiliation with the military at all.
Have you ever heard the comment: “They have been paid to do nothing all this time, now they need to shut up and put up.” (A comment made from non-military persons)
Comments like this come from ignorant, uneducated AMERICANS. The same Americans that our sons, daughters, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, friends, and/or loved ones defend everyday. Some people need the reality that journalist provide to understand the price of FREEDOM.
I do believe that the media should wait until the many families are told prior to posting such graphic details of anyone. However, it is because of us that they do. For the Media, it is about ratings, for the people, it is the curiosity. It is the people who rush to read the paper, it is the people who rush to watch the news, it is the people who cause those ratings…so…SHAME ON US.
As a military daughter, wife, then mother, SHAME ON ME. When my family has been at war, I sit, I wait, I listen, I read, and I will do anything to get a piece of information on the whereabouts of my family and friends. I pray everyday for something, anything the media, the military, and the families of the military will tell me. Some of the very same journalist that reports the bad, have reported the good to me….way before the military told me.
It starts with US. Do not buy the newspaper, do not turn on the news, and do not contribute to anything that will gain ratings in the media. For the media is just reacting to me, yet US. Therefore, to you and all the others….I am SORRY for asking for it.
Posted by: Donna Weathers | 02/07/2007 at 00:12
WOW!!!! What a story....My spouse is home for his two weeks of R&R and everyday he worries about what is going on with his "comrades". I would love to email this letter to all the news channels here is Austin, TX where I live. This is NOT a military area, and the news media can not wait to get their hands on things. My children and I don't watch the news for that reason. What a powerful letter!!!!! Much graditude to the author.
Tammy Melgar
Posted by: Tammy Melgar | 02/07/2007 at 18:26
This Blog will NEVER make the cover of ANY paper in this country, or the back page for that matter...But every American should read it!
Any living person who can see inages like the ones discribed here, and not feel anything are not human...how can someone be so anticeptic and cold, when talking or reporting about death and suffering of another human, especitaly someone who put themselves in harms way just so they can continue to report about it, has a real problem!
I am not in the military, but I subscribe to this blog, I dont watch the news becuse of all the reasons listed here, and becuse I dont trust them eather. I read everything I can get my hands on that pertains to a subject from the people who live it, and I get a much less convaluded view of things.
My dad was a news cameraman in the 50's & 60'S, He and the people he worked with were RESPECTED, becuse of there integrety and values. This would not happen back then. As the son of one of the old school news people, I can tell you, my dad would not let this happen.
Not anymore.
I can remember when I was little, my dad saying," the news wasn't the same anymore", he said "I'ts all just fluff, coming from pritty talking heads" .
I think its much worse.
But it's also a business. Call your cable Co. and unsubscribe from CNN & the rest, tell them why your doing it too...Hit them where it hurts...they will notice.
Anyone who can blind'ley persue and report a story(and there bosses who OK them) with no regard or just a basic respect for others, should not be in the "infotainment" business, or on the same planet, that we are!
I can only amagen what it must be like not knowing if your Son, Daughter, Brother, Sister, Friend is OK...But I do have a concience and Common Sence and anyone who chooes to go far away, or has to stay home, just for me, and for a way of life I enjoy....has my utmost Respect and Gratitude, and I truly hope, they will all come home, safe, soon.
Brandon Berghmans <-----cant spell
Kona HI
In Memory to SFC Chris Merville and all others
KIA far away.
True Hero's
I miss him.
Posted by: Brandon Berghmans | 02/09/2007 at 04:45
My husband was a part of the D2/8CAV in 1968. He was KIA on 12-20-68. I think the news media should keep all names and ranks and locations out of the news for at leat 3 days so the families can be notified. It's bad enough that the USA news is in the WORLD news the next day and everyone know what we are doing.
I lost my husband 39years ago and I have young men and women who are sons and daughters of my friends that are over there fighting the war. The parents, wives, sisters, brothers and the rest of the family need to see the news and hate to see it at the same time as their children are over ther frighting for our freedom while Jane is here fighting against it.
Stop the news.
I agree
Shut Up for a little while until the familea are told.
Have a heart. You didn't have a heart while we went through Viet Nam but now is different. We are the now generation and we are holding the News Media accountable.
Sue
Posted by: Sue | 02/11/2007 at 22:32
Thank you! I stopped watching, reading and listening to the news during my husband's deployment. I had to cut contact with family members that refused to respect my wishes on not refering to any new's articles or stories that are being told. That is really hard because that is when I needed all of my family the most. It is like a sick curiosity and only walking in our shoes will a person finally understand how much damage the media does to us! God bless our troops and families!
Posted by: Jill | 02/12/2007 at 17:58
Outstanding editorial! THANK YOU for so beautifully putting into words what is in the hearts of thousands of military families! Gayle/a proud Marine mom of one who has been to Iraq '03,'04,'06
Posted by: Gayle Temple | 03/04/2007 at 07:55
If only there were a way for so many of us to unite and JUST STOP WATCHING, READING, AND LISTENING. We are the ones who give power to the media. We can stop them. They have an agenda, it isn't the news.
Posted by: Frank Filtrante | 04/09/2007 at 09:20
I am so greatfull for this website. I just discovered it resently. To know there is a community of military spouses out there who share or are going through the same emotional rollacoster as I am has been a bit helpful. My fiance is currently is still stationed here in the U.S but I am still mile and miles away. We plan on getting married, but I want to wait til he is done with military life. I need advise, I keep telling him nothing would honor me more and no matter what happends I will still be here waiting for him to come back after more training and his deployment, but he wants it now. Men! I dont know what to do, I just dont know where to go or what to do once he is deployed, he is all that I have in this world and if terrifieds me to just pick up and leave what I know to go stay with him on base knowing in a short time he will leave. Am I being selfish? I am new to this done know what to expect. So if anyone can tell me what to do or what to expect as a new military wife please do. I need all the help I can get. Now on the your article about "shut Up" i could not agree with you more. I never really paid much attention to the media and about this war, but now know my beloved Eric will go I can not pull myself away from the news. There is so much going on with congress, the bill, then the pres. veto it, and the deployment extention. It seems that this war will never end and that terrifies me the more. I just want them all to come home. I think we all expecially our service men and women have sacrifice enough. Is there anything we can do?
Posted by: Nedai | 05/02/2007 at 23:41