No, I'm Sorry. Not that Movie
September 27, 2006|
Probably the silliest problem I have when hubby is deployed is which movies I can and can't watch. It's enough to drive many of my friends (civilian, of course) batty. In fact, just last weekend my sister and I headed out for a night on the town (which, at my age - 32 - and marital status, means a sinful dessert, a movie, and in bed at the LATE time of 10:30) and spent twenty minutes driving the guy at the ticket counter nuts as we perused the synopses of available flicks.
My sister was absolutely exasperated as I looked at one movie after another and pronounced them unfit. What she couldn't grasp was the reasoning behind my yes and no answers - I said yes to some movies with steamy scenes and no to some movies without. The actual story line was secondary, really. And some movies are fairly obviously off limits for me - We Were Soldiers, for instance. But not all of them are that straight forward.
So, to make things a little easier, I tried to give up some examples:
Top Gun: Most definitely NO. I can't even hear that theme song! Especially not with multiple LOOOONG months left before hubby returns. It may be a movie about Navy pilots, but it strikes a chord, and that chord is best not resonated when I'm going through a period of enforced celibacy.
Falling Down: This is actually a very therapeutic movie for me to watch. I often feel like I would like to start on the bureaucracy with a baseball bat.
Office Space: Yes. See above.
Tombstone: Yes. I like to see bad guys get what they deserve.
The Omen: No. Double No. Have you ever met my children? Somethings just hit too close to home.
So, anyway, I tried to explain through example, but it really didn't seem to work. For instance, my sister wasn't quite sure why we could go see "Black Dahlia" when there are some quite steamy scenes involving Hillary Swank and Josh Hartnett (the enforced celibacy, remember?). But that one seems so obvious to me - the lack of sparks would make those scenes safe for viewing in a field of overripe corn in the middle of a hot July with no rain for six weeks.
But in all honesty, I think the question that most people can't get past is why in the Sweet Mother of Mercy I'm concerned about movies when there are so many other things that seem to be much bigger problems to contend with.
The answer is very simple. Big problems I can deal with. The car engine falls out and I need to get a tow and a new car loan? That's okay - there's nothing I can do to change the situation, I have to deal with it. My Mother-in-Law chooses this moment to be diagnosed with early stage Alzheimers? Once again - what good would being flustered do in this situation?
Nothing. So there's no point. We deal with things because we have to. That's what life has thrown at us.
But movies... that I can control. And if feels GOOD to be able to control something. So I control it with relish. I'm the Movie Nazi, the Spoiler of All Nights Out, the Dictator of the Admissions Tickets, the Sultan of Sub-plots.
And my sanity survives intact.
Classic!
I can't watch certain new movies because I want to see them with DH when he gets back.
We Were Soldiers--DH and I watched that right before he went for training. Not a nice thing to do to your poor wife!
On a sadder note, I totally get your other point about the big stuff vs. the small stuff. I try to control the little things, too. Then, when I can't, that's when I get frustrated. I've already accepted that the big stuff is beyond my control so I just take it day by day.
Posted by: Molly Pitcher | 09/27/2006 at 13:00
more big no-no's: The Notebook & In-Love & War
Posted by: dizzylizzie | 09/27/2006 at 13:15
forget movies, I can't watch the news anymore. Every day there is another soldier killed by a roadside bomb. Arg! It's a harsh reality but the weeks are flying by and I know he'll be home soon.
Posted by: Amanda Walker | 09/27/2006 at 22:26
i know they say not to, but my tv is on fox news 24/7. i dont watch all the time but i need the background noise even though i'm not a big tv fan. and you never know..maybe its just lunacy on my part, maybe i just like giving myself more stuff to worry about, i dunno. but i will tell you the first time he went had i not had the tv on fox 24/7 i would have missed an interview a reporter did with my better half when he was in "mortaritaville" aka balad, iraq. thankfully they played it a few times so i could tape it.
Posted by: dizzylizzie | 09/28/2006 at 05:54
It is good to hear that I am not the only one that has a hard time with simplier things. I bought a book "Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's Soul". BAD IDEA! I have read 2 stories. I bawled like a baby! But anything remotely linked to the war, veterns, army, I cry. I thought we were suppose to get stronger not softer!
Posted by: Infantrywife | 09/28/2006 at 10:10
I have to say, the only movies that I really cannot watch while he his gone are the scary ones. I need to know he is there when I get scard. :-p
Posted by: ArmywifeHagen | 09/28/2006 at 15:08